Stowaway: an Epic Tale of Pigheadedness
by bellagill92
Summary: "Well, I guess we can just classify this as yet another thing Erza just had to do in the most unorthodox way possible to man." A.k.a. How Master Mavis unexpectedly ceased being the only person to have Tenrou Island for a birthplace.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's been a while since I've posted anything. Unfortunately, it was not due to good reasons - a long-term family-friend who was as good as my uncle passed away three weeks ago after a very hard battle with cancer. It was incredibly disheartening as he had been told he was in remission a few months ago, but the cancer came back and developed extremely quickly, to the point that he was gone just days after telling my family it was back. He was the life of the party wherever he went and threw jokes around even on the last day I saw him - somehow that made it even more painful to see him go.**

 **Anyway, I had better stop talking about this before I lose it again.**

 **This installment of the 'Our World' series has been a long-time coming for obvious reasons. This is only half, in which the main part of the chapter focuses on the guild, while the next one should focus on Erza and Jellal's point of view. Please keep in mind that I did not have the chance to finish this fic yet (most of what you'll read here has been written for months), so the date when Part II is posted will depend on how fast and inspired I will be to write the missing parts (there is quite a bit written but it still needs a lot of shuffling and brushing up).**

"Well, I guess we can just classify this as yet another thing Erza just had to do in the most unorthodox way possible to man."

It was Cana who went ahead and broke the silence that had formed between the several members of the guild present, sitting together as they waited for Erza to have her baby.

Why would Cana say such a thing? Well, aside from the fact that the baby seemed to be coming a few weeks before it was meant to, it was mostly about their surroundings. Surroundings that were nowhere near a hospital, Porlyusica's hut, Erza's house or even the guild. Really, just four walls and a roof would have sufficed… but no, of course that would not be the case.

It had to be in a tent. In Tenrou friggin' Island.

Maybe the story should rewind a bit, roughly twelve hours, back when they were still in mainland.

The whole story had started about a week before, when the Master had announced that year's candidates for the S-Class trials. Jellal, for the first time, had been among them and with his former status as a Wizard Saint and three open spots for promotion that year (as had been the previous year and would be the next one due to the eight years that had gone on without a single promotion), he was considered a shoe-in for S-Class if that guild had ever had one. The matter was, he wasn't all that interested in it.

Surprisingly enough, the reasoning for his lack of interest in taking place in that year's trials was not, as one might have guessed, out of self-sacrificing guilt. He actually had a very legitimate reasons not to want to leave Magnolia and head towards a remote island such as the one that housed Fairy Tail's holy land and would, again, host the trials for financial reasons (because who in their right mind allow an uninsurable guild such as that one do such a thing in their backyard, after all?).

Erza was pregnant. Very, _very_ pregnant. Not quite so pregnant that the baby should already be there, given that there was still something between a month and three weeks to go, but kids came early all the time and Jellal just didn't want to risk not being there when his son decided to make an appearance. So, of course, nobody in their right mind would have given him grief for it.

Unfortunately for Jellal, though, his fiancée was not known for being in her right mind as a rule. And that was exactly what seemed to be happening at the time.

"You _are_ going to the trials," she had declared with a tone of finality. And that was it. Or rather, that was it for _her_.

The entire week that he was supposed to spend preparing himself for the trials was spent with him arguing his case _not_ to go.

"What if the baby comes early?" he had asked one time.

"He won't," she had replied, as if it was an unquestionable fact.

"How can you be so sure?! It's not that unheard of for babies to come early!"

"Ours won't."

"But _how can you know that for sure?"_

She'd nearly growled at him, not only because she was annoyed that he was questioning her, but also because he had timed his intervention poorly by making it take place during her daily shoulder massage session – a sacred time of the day, as far as she was concerned. "Jellal, your son will not come out while you're gone, _if he knows what's good for him."_

Jellal had blinked. Was she _threatening the baby into staying where he was?!_ "Erza, this is an unborn child we are talking about! Of course he won't know what's good for him!"

"Don't insult your son's intelligence!"

"I'm not! I'm just stating a widely-known fact!"

He had slept on the sofa that night and she had woken up looking miserable because she had been unable to use him as a full-body pillow. He'd felt so guilty for a moment that he'd gone to ask Erik to be his partner in the trials since Meredy had already paired up with Juvia after he'd assured her he was 'absolutely without question not going to the trials'. Erik had turned him down.

"The guild is gonna be pretty much empty, so I'm taking Kina away for a few days. And I guess we're going to be living large for those few days 'cause pinkie owes me money – I told her there was no way you'd be able to stick to your guns with Titania," Erik had said, laughing scornfully at him.

"What? But… but… I _am_ sticking to my guns. I'm not going to the trials."

"Then why the fuck are you standing here asking me to be your partner, you moron?!"

"I… er…"

He decided to plead temporary insanity.

Cobra had laughed and told him to go and ask Wendy instead, since she wasn't paired up with anyone yet. Jellal hadn't – instead, he'd gone home to reaffirm his refusal to leave Erza's side for the sake of becoming S-Class.

"Jellal, should you really be stressing a pregnant woman like this?" she had questioned him in return, looking absolutely serious and far more reasonable than she was known to be.

Of course, the ensuing guilt had been enough to shut him up – what was he thinking, making such a nuisance of himself when Erza was in such a delicate state? Just like that, he'd gone out and asked Wendy to be his partner during the trials. She was already going as part of the guild's medical team (a demand from the Master after the Grimoire Heart conundrum) but had gotten permission to team up with him as Porlyusica would (begrudgingly) be standing by as well.

It wasn't until after two days waiting on Erza hand and foot that the guilt vanished and he realized she had played him like a fiddle. She'd used the guilt card like a pro, in a way he never thought her able to before – pregnancy hormones, he'd mused, were making her downright _dangerous._

He'd tried to fight back one last time that night by simply stating that he wasn't going after all. Erza had shot it down with one look and one sentence.

"Are you really going to make me drag you all the way to that island by the hair in this state?"

Threats mixed with guilt. He was done for. She wasn't usually one to be violent with _him_ , at least, but he wouldn't put anything beyond her at that point.

She _almost_ had to live up to the threat on the very morning he was supposed to leave and started getting fidgety at Hargeon port. Before he could even start rethinking his decision to go along with her wishes and go, she had all but manhandled him into the boat… and once he was inside, her backup plan came into play.

Nobody was really sure how she managed to rope Freed into trapping Jellal down in the cargo hold with his runes – it might have been bribery, though blackmail or threats were more likely. Regardless of the method, Jellal did getting caught in the unexpected trap while depositing his luggage and became unable to make a run for it at the last minute as he had pondered doing. And so, the former Wizard Saint had found himself having to accept that would probably just have to pray that his son would stay where he was for the next few days.

Shortly before the ship had left, Erza had been spotted by Gray and Lucy heading out, back onto land – that was the last they saw of her… that was, until finding her again hours later and miles away from Hargeon, stowing away in the hold with Jellal.

In her defense, it hadn't been on _purpose_. She'd simply felt a little guilty all of a sudden and decided to go back down in order to have one last exchange of words with Jellal in order to make sure he wasn't too mad at her.

"I just don't want you to miss out on this over me," she'd said, looking down a little.

He stared. "Erza, I wouldn't be missing out on _anything_. Being S-Class is not important to me – _you_ are. _And_ the baby. And I just don't want to risk being miles away and leave you alone if… if something happens."

"You wouldn't be leaving me alone, you idiot! How fast can you travel with Meteor? Thousands of miles per hour? More if you really try? With communication lacrimas, _if_ something were to happen, which it won't because I won't let it, you would make it here in no time."

For all his intelligence, that hadn't even crossed his mind. He had been so focused on staying that he hadn't even bothered to think of how to make it back if really had to. And not that he thought of it… well, he felt very, very dumb. "That actually… makes a lot of sense."

"So… you're not angry?" she asked, just to make sure.

He sighed. "It wouldn't have killed you to point that out before it got to this, would it?" he had to state.

She frowned. "Aren't you supposed to be a genius?"

He didn't respond to that question in specific. Just sighed. "I'm not mad, Erza. More like... frustrated."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he stated. "You can stop worrying about that. Now, could you please call for Fr… _oh my god, Erza, don't!"_ he shouted as he saw her approaching him, clearly intent on kissing him out of thankfulness and relief…

But he was too late. Before he could even react, she took one step too far, activating the runes and found herself just as stranded as he was in her own trap. Oh, the irony…

"Oh," was all she could say in reaction.

Jellal's own was a tad less stoic, shouting for Freed as loudly as his lungs would allow him.

"Don't bother. He won't come. Nobody will, really," Erza told him after a minute.

"What?! Why not?!"

"I may have incited Freed to make his rune barrier soundproof," she mumbled, looking away.

Jellal blinked. " _Why?!"_

"Because I doubted some people would resist trying to free you if they heard you calling. Such as Wendy or Meredy… and I may have instructed him to pass along my promise of reprisals to whoever even thought of coming down here before Tenrou Island was in sight."

"But what if I felt ill during the trip? What if I needed help?!"

She still couldn't meet his eyes. "…I didn't really think that far."

Why was he even surprised? She _never_ did. " _Erza!_ If you are going to come up with crazy plans, at least try to think them through! _"_

The redhead didn't repond, although she at least had the decency to look a little ashamed at her carelessness.

He covered his face with his hands. "Oh my god, what are we going to do now?" Jellal spoke, his voice muffled. "You're _pregnant!_ You're really, _really_ pregnant. You can't be trapped in here like this!"

Erza sighed. "Well, I suppose there's no undoing it now, so I guess we're going on an impromptu babymoon… maybe it won't be so bad."

She wasn't nearly as relaxed as she made it sound – by then, she knew she'd messed up by coming up with that utterly _ridiculous_ plan. Honestly, what had she been thinking trapping Jellal in a chair-less, pillow-less, furnished-with-something-remotely-comfortable-less place like a cargo hold for hours? At least she'd been mindful enough to pack some field rations and water in Jellal's luggage, knowing he would need it for the trip, but that divided by two made for no banquet. In all, the journey was set up to be terrible, only a very small slice of her physical comfort having the possibility of being salvaged by Jellal's offer to serve as her armchair, letting her rest her back against his front as he settled himself on the floor against a wall (which only served to make her feel worse).

By the time Freed had come down to liberate Jellal and found her there as well, any hope that the trip might be in any way a refreshing prelude to her impending motherhood had vanished. She was hot, sweaty and uncomfortable, not to mention feeling guilty for the extremely-stressed state that her S-Class-candidate of a fiancé was currently on.

"I'm getting her back home," Jellal had declared, taking the Master and Porlyusica aside, out of Erza's sight, soon after they'd been rescued. "With meteor, I can have her back in mainland in…"

"Are you out of your mind, Astro Brat?" Porlyusica had shouted, looking at him like he was insane. "You _really_ think it is a good idea to subject pregnant woman at her stage to ridiculous speeds like the ones that magic of yours must give you?!"

Jellal was at a loss about that to do. He hadn't thought of that.

"Then can't I just… borrow the ship and take her home?" he asked the Master. "I'll bring it back later. You can start the trials without me, really…"

"It's been a very long journey, Jellal," Makarov pointed out before turning to the medical advisor. "Is it wise to do it twice in a day in her state?"

Porlyusica shook her head. "She's not made of glass or anything, but this trip was made under less-than-ideal conditions. I wouldn't advise doing anything too strenuous again before she has a few hours of rest, at least."

Master nodded. "I guess we could take a break and delay the beginning of the trials for a bit. We'll see how she is doing in a few hours and then decide where to go from there."

And so Jellal found himself having to face the fact that, no, that impromptu babymoon wasn't getting itself canceled just yet. It sounded like the beginning of his worst nightmare.

Master Mavis was waiting for them at the old and battered dock they disembarked into, eager to welcome them into her home as always. The first words that came out of her mouth once she spotted Erza being helped out of one ship were foretelling.

"Uh-oh."

Later, they would think back to how much she had insisted that they set up camp quickly and realize that she probably knew exactly what was about to happen. Maybe they should have guessed it themselves… it was some sort of law, after all, wasn't it? 'Anything that can go wrong, _will_ go wrong.'

"Have any of the chairs been unpacked yet?" Erza asked, standing in the middle of the soon-to-be-campground watching it as her guildmates carted things around. Jellal had been put to work carrying stuff from the ship to the camp same as everyone else, mostly in an attempt to get him to stop his mind from wondering into the worst possible scenarios by keeping him busy.

"No. But I think Gajeel said he was bringing them, didn't he Levy-chan?" Lucy asked the bookworm, who was currently arranging some lumber she and Lily had collected around what was going to be their campfire (not that it was needed, given the hot, muggy climate of the island, but the First _had_ been pretty insistent on it).

"He was, but the Master told him to bring all the medical supplies over first because Master Mavis said it was basic strategy that they should prioritize over everything else," Levy replied. "Anyway, someone will get the chairs over here soon enough, Erza. Why don't you just sit on that rock while you wait?" she suggested, gesturing at a nearby boulder.

Erza groaned. "It won't do. I really need some back support right now…"

That appeared to catch Porlyusica's attention as she came back from picking a handful of plants that had caught her eye on the way there. "Your back is bothering you?"

"A little," Erza grudgingly replied, not wanting to show a weaker side of herself to the woman.

Lucy chuckled. "I guess it's to be expected, carrying that bump around all day long… It's got to be murder on your back."

Porlyusica was still looking at her weirdly, though. "Wendy!" she called.

The young Dragon Slayer poked her head out of the Infirmary tent – the only one that had already been set up in the camp in a joint effort between some of Lucy's spirits… again, as per the orders of the First. "Yes, Porlyusica-san?"

"Is everything set up in there?"

"I'm still unpacking some things, but Loke-san is nearly finished assembling the last cot."

"Good enough," the older woman mumbled before nodding at Erza. "You. Get in the tent."

She frowned. "I don't feel lying down. I just want to rest my back against something. Preferably in a mostly-upright position."

The pink-haired woman rolled her eyes. "I'm not offering you a goddamn bed. I'm examining you – you've just spent hours trapped in a ship's cargo hold. It's probably a good idea to make sure everything is in the right place and you're not dehydrated or anything. Your feeble human bodies tend to have issues like that."

" _I am not feeble!_ "

"And aren't you as human as we are?" Levy had to point out.

The other woman ignored her. "Just get in the damn tent, woman! I have better things to do than to waste my time with you – this island is a goldmine of rare medicinal herbs, you know? I'd like to restock my supplies before I leave!"

Erza obeyed, although she did not seem happy about it, and Loke was promptly kicked out of the tent for Porlyusica's examination.

The bomb was dropped in a matter of minutes.

"Tch… should have known you'd bring me nothing but trouble," Porlyusica mumbled.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?!" Erza demanded.

"Porlyusica-san?" Wendy questioned, sounding confused.

The healer gave Erza a look. "You're in labor."

While Wendy gasped, Erza stared silently for about twenty seconds before uttering a word. "I'm sorry, I think I have misheard you."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I _did_ ," Erza insisted, sounding almost desperate.

" _No, you did not_. You heard it perfectly well when I stated that you are, indeed, in labor. From the look of things, you must've been for hours – it was probably the stress of that journey that did you in _._ "

"No. No. I most certainly do _not_ feel in labor. Everything I read said the pain was excruciating."

Porlyusica gave her a look before reaching over and pinching Erza's arm. _Hard._ She earned herself a glare.

"Porlyusica-san!" Wendy protested on Erza's behalf. "That will bruise!"

"What are you doing?" Erza asked, frowning.

"Describe how that felt," Porlyusica stated.

"Mildly unpleasant."

"My point is made – anybody else would have shrieked at the very least. The way you've been busting yourself since you were a little brat, your pain threshold is probably so high you wouldn't even notice all the tell-tale signs you read about in books. The brat is coming, girlie. Face the music."

No. No. No. That couldn't be. That just… it couldn't! "But it's too early! This is not supposed to happen for at least three more weeks!"

"Babies don't have date planners! They come when they feel like it. And this one seems to be just about as impatient as you are."

" _No!_ " she insisted. "This is _not happening_. This _will not_ happen until the proper time." She glared down at her bump. "I demand that you stay exactly where you are until I say so, devil child!"

"Oh, yes, I am _sure_ he will obey to that," the Sky Dragon's Edolas counterpart said sarcastically. "I guess my services won't be needed after all, then."

"They won't," Erza replied. "You may go."

"E-Erza-san! You don't mean that!" Wendy protested.

"Yes, I do," Erza insisted. "She can go. There's nothing here for her to do."

She seemed quite set on that so Porlyusica wasted no time in arguing and just got to her feel. "Well, we'll get back to this in around three weeks, then," she said, walking away from the laboring woman in denial.

"What?! Porlyusica-san! You can't go! What about the baby?!"

"Didn't you hear her? It's not coming today, so let's just leave it be."

"But… but… you can't be serious… you…"

They emerged from the tent to find that Lucy and Levy appeared gone and replaced by Makarov and a few other assorted guild members. There was water already boiling over the campfire - again, at the First's urging.

"The girls mentioned you pulled Erza aside for an examination. Is there something wrong?" the Master inquired.

"Yeah, Titania sounded pretty pissed in there," Evergreen added. "What the hell were you doing to her?"

"I was hardly doing anything. She was just being a stubborn moron."

"Concerning what?" Lisanna asked.

"The fact that she is currently in labor. She seems to have decided that her will alone will keep the brat in her womb for as long as she pleases. Humans… your stupidity astounds me."

The entire group blanched blanched.

"Wait, what? She's having the baby? _Now_?" Bisca spoke for all of them.

"Did I not just say that?" the healer asked, annoyed.

Makarov looked slightly irritated. "I should have _known_ something like this was going to happen. The guild is like a magnet for trouble! What do we do now?!"

"… isn't it too early?" Lisanna asked

"A little earlier than I would like, but not enough that this is a guaranteed tragedy waiting to happen," Porlyusica admitted. She wasn't one to let her mind wonder straight towards the worst. Weekly measurements were not one-hundred percent accurate and she was hoping that she had not overestimated Erza's time… because if she had, they might be in big trouble.

"But shouldn't she go to a hospital just in case?" Bisca replied. "I was in labor for a day and a half – that's more than enough time to get her to Hargeon at least."

Porlyusica rolled her eyes. "From the look of things, I'm willing to bet that if the brat isn't here in a couple of hours at the most, I will spend the rest of my days living happily in community."

People looked grave, knowing she meant business as she might as well have wagered that she would eat her own foot.

"Then what are you doing out here?" Makarov asked. "Shouldn't you be helping her?"

"Did you miss the part when I said she simply _refuses_ to give birth, senile old man?!"

"Oh, for the love of… _Erza Scarlet_!" he barked, making his way to the tent. "You have five seconds to make yourself decent because I'm coming in!"

" _You don't have to wait, Master. I am decent now_ ," Erza said from the inside.

Makarov obeyed and pulled the tent's flap open only to find Erza lounging down with both her arms and legs crossed. She had the mother of all poker faces on, as if a baby wasn't trying to make its way out of her. "What am I hearing about you refusing to acknowledge the fact that you are in labor?" he asked.

"I cannot acknowledge a fact that isn't actually a fact," she said cryptically.

The Master gave her a look. "So we should not expect you to have a baby in the next couple of hours like Porlyusica seems to believe you will?"

"No. This baby _will_ obey my command or face the consequences."

"What consequences? You'll send him to bed without dessert?" Porlyusica asked sarcastically, her head poking into the tent.

"Weren't you leaving?" she asked through her teeth. Her body went very tense all of a sudden, not out of annoyance but due to a sudden wave of pain right on her lower back.

Porlyusica didn't miss the grimace and saw it from what it was: as the labor progressed, the contractions were becoming harder to mistake for general uncomfortableness, even for somebody as desensitized from pain as her. It was moving fast – oh, yes it was. "Well, I thought I'd learn a thing or two from your method of keeping the shorty from coming. Might come in handy in the future," the older woman said blandly.

Erza seemed about to comment but was interrupted by Bisca's voice as she took a third place at the entrance of the tent. "Erza, you can't keep the baby in you if it's ready to come out!" Bisca argued, fairly acquainted with the process of childbirth herself.

"I am an S-Class wizard of Fairy Tail. I have singlehandedly defeated all hundred demons of Pandemonium and regularly bring enemies to their knees. I will _not_ be outdone by an infant lacking in patience! That is just not acceptable!"

"Lecturing the child into submission," Porlyusica observed. "Does anyone have something for me to write on? I feel like I should be taking notes."

"Go to hell you beastly witch!" she yelled, starting to break a sweat. The awareness of what was going on seemed to make the pain impossible to ignore.

"Erza, being an S-Class mage does not give you the power to bend the laws of nature. It does, however, require a certain amount of wisdom that in theory should make you able to realize that if this child needs to come out now, you have no say on the matter," Makarov argued.

She pursed her lips together, looking very, very annoyed. "That's not fair."

"Life's not fair," Porlyusica replied. Recognizing the defeat on Erza's face, she turned to Wendy. "There's water boiling outside. Go and get it, then sterilize everything as best as you can." When Wendy nodded obediently and disappeared out of the tent, Porlyusica faced Lisanna. "You, find the First and see what else she has put together, since clearly she's been preparing for this longer than the rest of us. I expect she'll have towels and blankets ready, among other things." And then, it was Bisca's turn. "You with the green hair…"

"It's Bisca! You've known me for years! You delivered my daughter!"

Porlyusica rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Get the father in here. Make sure he's not about to pass out or anything before you send him in. I really don't have the time or the patience to deal with fainters right now."

Bisca really did not have the chance to live up to the second part of the request, as Jellal sped away at meteor speed as soon as he heard the words 'Erza' and 'labor' in the same sentence. The result was him entering the tent about as pale as a sheet, looking like he might, indeed, drop unconscious at any moment.

Porlyusica scoffed. "You ask for one simple thing…"

Nobody really paid any attention to her words. Erza was too busy fuming at being unable to have her way, even when it concerned her own body, and Jellal was too busy freaking out.

"Oh my God, Erza… _oh my God!_ " he said, sounding utterly lost as he rushed to the side of her cot, looking at her with wide eyes. When he spoke again, his words came disjointed, so deep ran his shock. "You… the baby… labor… _here?!"_

"I am still not entirely convinced this woman knows what she is talking about…" Erza mumbled.

"I've been delivering brats since long before you were born! I know what a woman in labor looks like!" Porlyusica spat.

Jellal's eyes were wide with worry. "It's too soon… It is, isn't it? Oh, God, it's _too soon!"_

Erza didn't respond verbally, but Jellal didn't fail to notice how she bit down on her lip and appeared tense upon hearing his words.

Porlyusica made an effort not to look too worried even though, as a medical professional faced with conditions less than ideal, she was. "Tch… could be sooner. Anyway, it's no time for us to be worrying about that. We've got a brat to bring into this world. We can worry about the rest once that's scratched off the list."

"And once your baby is here, we'll do our very best to make sure he's alright, Erza-san, Jellal-san…" Wendy reassured them. "Please rely on us and don't concern yourselves too deeply."

Her words did seem to work on getting them a little calmer, not because of the content of them, but because it reminded them that Wendy was right there. And when delivering a child in a remote island, a Dragon Slayer with powerful healing magic would probably be the at the very top of the list of people one would want nearby.

Sighing, Jellal took his fiancée's hand and squeezed it in his. "This is it, then…"

Erza nodded faintly. "Yes. I guess it is…"

* * *

"Do you guys think they'll be okay?" Lucy asked as she sat at a portable table with Gray, Juvia, Levy and Cana. It had been at least an hour since the news of the impending birth of Erza's baby had broken and the base camp was fully set up around the medical tent (from which hadn't come a peep in a while, be it intended of not, though they suspected Master Mavis might be the one responsible for muffling whatever sounds came from within, since she seemed to be fully on top of things). The trials were indefinitely on hold, though, which thankfully no one seemed to really care about at the moment. "I mean, Erza is not that early but things can turn really bad, really fast and if they do, there's no hospital for miles and miles."

"Erza is the strongest of us all," Gray declared confidently. "She's been through stuff way tougher than having a baby. She'll be fine."

"Yeah, but what about the baby?" Levy asked. "Babies are small and fragile. Loads of stuff can go wrong."

"Wendy's there," Cana reminded her. "She'd just heal it."

"But Wendy-san's powers are not without limits," Juvia argued. "Just last winter when Gray-sama caught the flu, she said she could only speed up the healing process by boosting his immune system, not skip it, since it was a natural ailment."

"That's true," Gray admitted, his tone much less confident than before.

"Idiots," a harsh voice came from nearby. They turned around to find Gajeel standing by, munching on a tin can. "You're forgetting something."

Levy frowned. "Please, do enlighten us then."

He snickered. "Jellal has got that power. The one that turns him into a comet or whatever."

"Meteor?" Levy suggested.

"Same difference, Shorty," he told her. "At the speeds he can reach with that thing, he'd reach mainland in five minutes tops."

"But don't you think that if Porlyusica had an issue with him using it with Erza, she won't have it when it concerns a potentially sick newborn?" Lucy remarked.

For about thirty seconds, in which everyone pondered on Lucy's words, there was complete silence.

"Damn… the kid would reach land looking like a pancake…" Gray mumbled.

Somebody cleared their throat to their right. It was Freed, who stood by with the rest of his team. "If I were to cast some runes protecting the child from the speed, that might not be the case. Granted, I have never done anything like that before, but if there was no other choice…"

"Of course there would be," Evergreen supplied. "I could always turn it to stone."

Nearly everyone looked at her in absolute horror. Apparently, every pair of ears in the guild had been overhearing the conversation.

"Evergreen!" Master scolded.

"How can you say something like that?!" Bisca demanded.

"Petrifying babies is not manly!"

Evergreen promptly whacked the latest contributor across the head with her fan. "I'm not aiming for manly, you moron! I'm a woman!" she yelled at him before turning to glare at everybody. "And don't go giving me those looks, you idiots! As long as someone remains petrified by me, they can't die unless they're broken to pieces! Obviously, I'd only turn the kid to stone until we reached a damn hospital! I did it for Freed once when he was bleeding out!"

"It's true," Bixlow stated. "I think I got a hernia on my back carrying him. The scrawny bastard weighed a ton!"

"Well, if that's the case…" Master said. "You have our unreserved apologies, Evergreen."

She looked smug.

"Well, since we're throwing solutions around," Loke piped in, having stayed behind with the guild rather than returning to the Spirit World after he's done Lucy's biding, "I guess I could just point out that now we have a member of our guild who can travel thousands of miles in seconds. And I'm not talking about Jellal or Jet."

"I could totally do it, though… if it weren't for the ocean in between," Jet remarked.

"I could freeze it for you," Gray offered.

"The whole ocean?" Cana asked, doubtfully.

"It wouldn't have to be the entire ocean… just a passageway between here and mainland Fiore," he stated.

"Made of ice, which would be slippery as hell," the drunk pointed out. "He'd just slip off and drown to death."

"Hey!"

Loke cleared his throat. "Like I said, Jet is not the person I'm referring to. I'm talking about Mest… I mean, Doranbolt."

"No, you do mean Mest," Lucy corrected him. "Doranbolt was an alias."

"Are you sure? I clearly remember him going by Mest when he was infiltrating us…" Loke replied. The facts were still a bit iffy in his mind – he didn't spend all that time in the guild these days, and with the time difference between the human world and the spirit world, the news of Mest/Doranbolt's identity were still quite… well, _new_ to him. Honestly, he could have sworn they'd just been fighting Tartarus a couple of weeks ago.

"Yeah – he was using his name as an alias for his actual alias back when he infiltrated Fairy Tail while infiltrating the council… none of which he was apparently aware of," Meredy tried to explain. Loke did not seem enlightened. "Oh, forget it. It sounded bananas too when he explained it to us in Crime Sorciere."

"You can say that again," Loke mumbled.

"Yeah, well… you get used to it," Gray declared with a shrug. "Just stick with 'Mest' and you'll be fine."

The Lion spirit cleared his throat. "Anyway, what I meant is that he can teleport himself on will and he's only one Communication Lacrima call away, if needed."

For a moment, nobody spoke. "That's actually incredibly well-thought," Lisanna observed. "If worse came to worst, he could get Erza and the baby to a hospital in seconds!"

"Oi, how come nobody thought of that before I had to spend hours puking my guts out in a goddamn ship?! He could have gotten us all here!" Gajeel demanded. "The blasted lolicon could have been useful for something other than drooling all over Wendy!"

"Gajeel! You know as well as we do that Mest has never done anything inappropriate to Wendy!" Levy scolded him. "He's really sensitive about that!"

"And he doesn't 'drool'. He dotes on her just as much as you and her other Dragon Slayer 'big brothers' do," Lucy replied.

Gajeel looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Save it," Pantherlily commented. "Everybody knows you have a weakness for small, cute things. Especially the sort that is gifted with blue hair."

The Iron Dragon Slayer appeared outraged while most of the girls giggled and Levy blushed, even though their relationship was the farthest thing from a secret. "Lily, you bastard!"

Meredy sighed. "Back to the Mest solution, though, I hope it doesn't have to come to that… travelling with his power is terrible – it feels like being forced through a meat grinder and then put together again," she said, recalling a few instances in which she'd been put through that when he joined forces with their guild. "The poor baby would be traumatized."

Just then a throat was cleared behind them as Master Makarov and his original predecessor joined into the conversation. "Don't worry," Mavis declared. "I already have the perfect solution thought up! Nothing bad is going to happen to this baby or his mother if I have a say about it." She seemed particularly determined for that to be the case, as if she really _, really_ needed everything to go well. Some among the group wondered if it had something to do with the last birth she had attended – Makarov's – and how horribly wrong it had gone in the end, for which she still blamed herself for.

"Well, what is it, then?" someone urged her to share.

"If either the Seventh or her baby are in trouble, we'll just join our forces and put them inside a Fairy Sphere! It's the ultimate protection spell!"

Everyone looked at her strangely. "Didn't that take years to dispel when it was us in it?" Lisanna asked. "I don't think they would be too happy with that…"

"That was only because it was such a large sphere as I had to engulf the whole island. This one would be smaller! It might last a few months at the most and they would be safe inside it all the while, no matter how dire their state might be," Mavis argued.

"But nobody could reach the sphere when everyone was in it, so how would we be able to move them to a hospital in the meantime?" Juvia asked.

"Easy! We'd bring the hospital here!"

"Is that even possible?" Alzack asked. Really, he wasn't liking that plan at all. What if they got dragged into the sphere too and ended up stuck in it as well – they'd left Asuka back at the guild with the girls from Fairy Hills and he really didn't want to go back to find his daughter all grown up in their absence.

"Yes!" Levy said. "With those military hospital ships!"

"But how would we get our hands on one?" Freed questioned.

"Gihi! We'd steal one!"

"Gajeel!" Levy scolded.

"We could probably blackmail someone in the council," Meredy suggested. "Ultear collected dirt on all the Wizard Saints for a rainy day and she told me loads of stuff over the years about some of them. Did you know that Hyberion guy is a total creep? Apparently, he's kinky as hell. Likes blood play and stuff – yuck! And Wolfheim! I'm sure he wouldn't want it to be made public that he's got half a dozen illegitimate children spread throughout the kingdom… _"_

The whole guild eyed her a little strangely, suddenly reminded that yes, sweet cheerful Meredy had been a member of a dark guild and was not utterly beyond playing dirty… given strong enough encouragement, of course.

At some point, Makarov cleared his throat. "Alright, kids, that's enough lunacy for a day. It's clear Erza's child's wellbeing will not be lacking in effort," the Master concluded. "Let's all just put our faith on Erza and wait for news. Personally, I'm sure her little one will be perfectly heathy and in a few hours we will be looking back and laughing at all this."

"Yeah, surely it'll be just fine," Lucy said positively.

"It's probably going to be freakishly strong like Erza, anyway," Gray stated.

"That idiot Salamander will be asking to fight it in no time," Gajeel commented. "And then, Titania will pound him into the ground."

Everyone laughed at the mental imagery for a moment before the Master started looking around with an eyebrow raised. "Where _is_ Natsu in any case? I haven't seen that boy since before we left the ship."

"He went flying off with Happy as soon as we spotted dry land," Pantherlily provided.

"Yeah, we hadn't even found Erza at that point," Gray pointed out. "The idiot doesn't even know what's going on right now. He probably thinks the S-Class trials are still taking place."

"Maybe we should send someone to warn him, just in case he's still waiting," Meredy suggested. "He was supposed to challenge one of the contenders for the first test, wasn't he?"

He was, indeed, though not as a competitor but rather as an examiner that year, given that he had actually made S-Class on the previous test, along with Gajeel (who had annoyed a lot of people not only for passing on his very first try but also for endlessly gloating afterwards) and Cana (through five months of self-imposed sobriety, a lot of hard work under a very delighted Gildart's tutelage and quite a bit of luck as well… though, as expected, the sobriety had gone right down the drain during the celebration of her promotion).

Lucy snorted. "Oh, please. It's been two hours. As if he'd have the patience to wait this long for anyone. He's probably already gone off on some adventure of his own with Happy… he'll find his way here eventually."

"Hopefully he won't cause _too_ much trouble before that happens," Makarov grumbled.

"Oh, don't worry. Zeref is probably already with him by now. He'll keep him out of trouble," Mavis pointed out.

No one found that particularly reassuring. If not for Zeref's own troubled past, then at least because they saw no possible way for an incorporeal ghost to anything to stop the hurricane that was Natsu Dragneel, no matter how strong he might have been in life. If anything, they found it funny to picture Dark Wizard Zeref running around after his loose-cannon of a brother in exasperation.

"Anyway," Cana said, reaching for a little notebook on the pocket of her pants. "Since we're all way more cheerful now, I guess it won't be that insensitive for me to take some final bets on the kid anymore. Alright, gender, weight, hair color... any contenders?"

"Well, I don't usually go for bets but since I have enough money saved up for three months of rent, I guess I could place five thousand on it being a girl," Lucy said.

"No way – I'm not taking any gender bets from you, Gray or Natsu, wherever the hell he's gone! Same for you, Meredy. Wendy told me that Erza knows what she's having and you guys are her and Jellal's teams – for all I know, you could have insider knowledge."

"What? We don't!" Lucy said.

"She didn't tell us anything!" Gray joined in.

"You guys may be saying it and it may even be the truth but I have no way to know for sure that you're not bullshitting me," the card mage stated. "So, no gender bets for you. Go for the hair color instead. Or the weight."

"Well, that's not even worth betting on – obviously, the kid's going to be a redhead like Erza," Gray told her. "There's no way Erza's genes won't crush Jellal's like a bug. No offense to the guy – she's just… well, Erza."

"Plus, blue hair is a recessive gene," Levy pointed out. "The odds are in favor of red."

And everyone overwhelmingly agreed, so aside from Meredy, who put a thousand jewel on blue out of loyalty for her team-mate, everyone else who bothered to take that bet put their money on red.

When it came to the weight, Elfman was the first to put his two cents in. "I vote on an eleven-pound man!"

"Eleven pounds? Are you out of your mind?" Freed asked. "It's a premature child. I doubt it will be anything over six."

"Besides, Erza is not that big," Bisca said. "Where would she hide such a humongous baby?"

"Eleven pounds is not 'humongous'," Elfman argued. "I was born with thirteen and a half. Manly from birth!"

"Thirteen and a half pounds?!" Levy shrieked.

"Your poor mother..." Lucy mumbled, feeling herself paling. "And then she went to have Lisanna a year or so later? I'd have sworn off kids after something like that!"

Lisanna sighed, looking down, suddenly reminded that she had _not_ been planned.

"Unlike love-rival, Juvia could have a dozen thirteen-pound babies with no problem whatsoever thanks to her water body," the water mage boasted, sending Gray a look.

"Stop looking at me like that! We're not having kids anytime soon!"

"Hold on, guys! Guys! I'm hearing a lot of bets but no numbers! Show me the money, will you?" Cana requested. "Loke, give me a hand here for the sake of old Team Player and collect it for me."

"Wait... _Team Player_?" Lucy asked. "You guys had a team? How haven't I heard of this before? And what's up with the weird name?"

"It was a very occasional team," Loke explained. "But, boy did we work well together... she took the guys, I took the girls and it was fun all around! Cana here is one hell of a wing woman."

"Right. And I assume you did jobs somewhere in between," his master blandly commented.

"Of course. Wining and dining doesn't come cheap," he said.

The blonde just sighed.

"Hey! What'cha guys doing here?! I waited for _ages!_ " they heard Natsu calling as he emerged from the trees, covered in dirt and carrying what seemed to be a crate. As predicted, Zeref's ghost followed him, looking extremely harried, like he'd spent all day trying to unsuccessfully tame a wild beast. Happy flew along with them as well, apparently… _snickering as he read a book?_

"Natsu! You're filthy!" Lucy shrieked.

"I was trying to find you guys but I smelled something hidden underground, so I started digging," he said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I told him not to," Zeref mumbled. "He didn't listen."

"'Course I didn't! And guess what? We found a treasure!"

"A crate full of notebooks and junk hardly counts as a treasure," his brother deadpanned.

Happy snickered. "They have really bad poetry in them!"

Master's eyes widened as he heard the cat's words. "Natsu! Happy! Go put that back right where you found it!" he shouted.

"Why, Gramps? Something you want to hide? Something like... _The sour girl comes home./ Hardened beauty glares,/ A broomstick aimed at m_..." A massive fist smashing him kept Natsu from finishing the last word and smashed the crate in his hands, revealing quite a bunch of pictures, trinkets and notebooks spreading on the ground. At that point, Zeref was so numb with annoyance that he didn't even flinch at his brother's pained yelp. He was durable enough to take it… plus, he had it coming.

"Was that supposed to be a haiku?" Levy asked in disbelief. Because if it was, it was very, very bad.

"And it sounds like it was about someone familiar," Bickslow teased. "Someone who likes to swat people with a broomstick."

"The Master _likes_ Porlyusica," Happy sang.

" _Liked._ This seems like the contents of a breakup box to me," Lisanna commented, ignoring the semi-conscious Natsu as she took a peak at the contents of the smashed crate. "They did look cute together, though," she commented, looking at a picture of the young Makarov and Porlyusica.

"So, the Dragon Lady _is_ your ex," Evergreen concluded.

"Shut your traps, brats!" Makarov demanded. "Not another word about it. It was half a century ago!"

"Third," Master Mavis inquired. "Why was this... 'breakup box' hidden in the sacred ground of our guild?"

Makarov looked down. "It was a dark time, Master. I wanted the memories as far away as possible. Please accept my apologies. I will take it back with me."

"That won't be necessary," Mavis said, snapping her fingers and causing all the notebooks to fly her way. "I was in need of some reading material. And I do love poetry and romance... even the kind that ends tragically."

"B-but it's p... priv..."

"Wendy!" Lisanna called, spotting the young Dragon Slayer leaving the tent. "How is Erza? Is everything okay?"

"Everything is great," Wendy said with a big smile. "Erza-san did really well, the baby is healthy and really, really cute."

"Wait... Erza is here too? And she had her baby? What the hell?!" Natsu said in confusion, rubbing his head and pulling a wood chip from his arm as he got up.

"Yeah, a stork brought it for her. You've just missed it," Gray told the Dragon Slayer sarcastically.

"That's not how babies are born! Gildarts told me the basics. It sounds totally gross!"

In the background, Zeref seemed actually relieved by Natsu's words – that was one less embarrassing conversation he'd have to have with Natsu.

"It _is_ gross," Wendy mumbled, sounding a bit… haunted. "But it's the miracle of life, so..."

"Well, what is it, then?" Cana asked. "Boy? Girl? Horned beast?"

"Cana!" the Master scolded.

"Don't look at me! Bacchus bid on it! I'm just doing my job as the guild's bookie," she defended. "So, what is it, Wendy? Boy, girl or third option? Red-haired or blue-haired? Weight? Length? Name? Tattoo or no tattoo?"

"It's a baby! Of course there's no tattoo!" Levy said. "You don't inherit that kind of thing!"

"Who knows? Jellal's tattoo is weird – he can't even hide it with magic. For all we know, it's a genetic thing. Plus, Macao and Wakaba bet on it back home too! Spill it, Wendy!"

"Er... well, there's no tattoo, as far as I could see. They hadn't said anything about the name yet and we didn't check on the weight and length – I really just stepped out to tell you everything was okay. I should probably go right back in now…"

"But the hair! At least tell us about the hair!" Cana moaned. "Is it red? It's red, isn't it?"

"Er… I think it was – it might have been the lighting but at least it wasn't blue."

"Well, there go my thousand jewel," Meredy mumbled.

"What about gender? We need the gender, Wendy! Come on!" Cana demanded as Wendy started to retreat back into the tent.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you? It's little boy."

"Yes! A man!" Elfman shouted.

 _Whack!_ "A newborn! Stop acting like a moron!" Evergreen demanded.

"See? I told you she didn't tell us anything about the gender!" Lucy said to Cana.

"You should be thankful, then. I've just saved you from losing five thousand jewel by betting on a girl," the drunkard pointed out.

"Aw, a red-headed little boy," Lisanna said with a smile. "I bet it's going to look just like Erza!"

"Boy Erza! Awesome! Race'ya guys to see him!" Natsu declared, already running to the tent.

"Mavis," Zeref called. He only needed to share a look with her for mere fractions of seconds for her to understand what he wanted from her – something he wasn't quite able to achieve yet. As such, she snapped her fingers and used what little power she had in her current form to tilt one of the barrels standing by Natsu's intended path sideways, causing him to trip on it and fall right on his face.

Somehow, Natsu knew exactly who to blame for that. "Hey! What's your problem, bastard?" he barked at Zeref.

"Not only is it impolite not to give the parents their due privacy before they call for visitors, but also do you really think it is a good idea to go anywhere near a newborn child when you're covered in dirt from head to toe?"

"Your brother is right, Natsu. You're filthy! Go take a bath!" Lucy demanded.

"Lu-ucy!" the Dragon Slayer complained.

"Now!"

"Don't be difficult, Natsu," Zeref advised him. "You used to love bath-time as a toddler. The trouble was getting you out."

Half of the guild snorted at the comment and Natsu glared. "Hey! Don't go around saying embarrassing stuff like that!"

"What, Salamander, can't do it without your rubber duckie?" Gajeel mocked.

"Oi! I'll show you where to put the rubber duck, rust-for-brains!"

"You wanna settle this right now?" the Iron-Dragon-Slayer dared him, punching his own hand.

"Sure, why not?"

The Master seemed to be losing his patience. "Natsu! Gajeel! This is not the time to go around bickering like children! Act like the S-Class mages you are because it's still not too late for me to take your titles away."

"What?!"

"He started it Gramps!"

"Well, I'm ending it! This is not a day to be fighting – it's a day to celebrate the birth of a new life," Makarov declared.

In normal circumstances, Natsu would have protested some more, but that time he was hit hard by Makarov's words. The birth of a new life… Erza's baby. "Wow… Erza is someone's mom now. That is _so_ weird," he commented.

"Super weird," Happy agreed.

Lucy chuckled. "Yeah, now that you mention it…"

"Seems like it was just yesterday that she and Mira used to raise hell at the guild," Levy recalled. "Now she's got a baby and Mira will have two any day now. Crazy."

"Erza will be a great mom," Bisca remarked confidently. "A bit crazy, but great."

Gray snorted. "I wonder how long it'll be before she dresses the little guy in armor."

"Probably around the time the baby starts crawling and she realizes in how much trouble he can get just by moving around," Alzack pointed out, knowing exactly how that felt like.

"Jellal will probably go nuts about that too," Meredy stated. "Sheesh, I'm not even impressed that he's got a kid now. He's always been such a _dad."_

"I think this calls for a toast," Makarov suggested.

"Did we even bring anything to drink other than water, though?" Levy asked.

"Well, _we_ didn't," Lucy stated. "But I can think of someone who might have."

All heads turned to Cana in that very instant. She didn't seem too happy about it.

"Oh, come on! Sheesh… this kid is already giving me a headache."

 **To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So finally here is part 2 of Stowaway. Sorry for the delay, folks - after this there's only a small epilogue to come.**

 **Fair warning - this chapter is nowhere near as funny as the previous one. Still, tooth-rotting fluff abounds.**

Her son's arrival into the world hadn't been as painful as it had been terrifying… which was something worth saying as, even by Erza's standards, the pain had been considerable. Still, it wasn't that that pain had her trembling and holding her breath.

No, that would be the fear… the utter lack of control. Because her baby had been born before he should and she hadn't been able to stop it and now he could be very sick because of that, which again she was powerless against. If there was something Erza Scarlett truly, unquestionably feared, being powerless would be it – in a way, those feelings went all the way back to her years at the tower, during which she had been helpless most of the time. Even at Tartarus, the pain hadn't been the worst part of being tortured – it was knowing that she wasn't at all in control…

Still, she could have endured one hundred Tartarus all over again, rather than being through that – the fear that she felt at that moment while waiting to hear if her son was going to be okay. He had been in the world for not quite ten minutes and Erza felt like she had been holding her breath ever since. It had started the moment he had come out and decided not to immediately start crying, which had caused her to immediately panic. Porlyusica had brushed it off in her typical no-nonsense sort of way, barking something about 'giving the brat a moment to catch his breath', which she ended up not having to do as her son's first cries sounded before the healer even finished snapping at her. The relief had been immense but she had not allowed herself to relax, demanding that Porlyusica examined the baby from head to toe before she even had a chance to have more than a little glimpse of him, blaring his lungs out and squirming while covered in all sorts of goo.

And so there she lay, waiting for what felt like hours but was really minutes. Jellal hadn't moved from her side for even a second. It might be because he was too stunned to really do anything (he certainly looked the part, pale and tense even as he held her hand) or because he thought that if he left her side for even a second, she might crumble to pieces (which, at that point, she thought might be a legitimate possibility).

It wasn't just the fear and her general lack of patience that made it terrible to wait… it was the wondering. Because same as she feared for her son, she blamed herself for her role in all that – she should have known; she should have been a better mother; she should have been able to protect him; she should…

"This is my fault," she found herself whispering out loud.

Jellal flinched at her side, showing the first sign that he had not, in fact, turned to stone. "Erza…"

"I am too stubborn for anyone's good. I never listen. I don't think things thoroughly. If I had just left you alone…"

"It could have happened anyway," he said.

"In a hospital."

"What hospital would trump over Wendy?" he asked back.

Erza looked away. "Wendy is good… but she's not almighty."

He sighed, reaching for her and pulling her closer, running his hand through the sweaty hair that had escaped from the half-undone bun Wendy had made on her to keep it off her face while she buried her face into his chest for comfort. "You are right about that," he admitted. "But you're failing to take one thing into account, Erza."

She pulled back a little, looking at his face. "What? What is it?"

"He's crying. Crying really loudly. And that… that is good, right? It means his lungs are strong. He wouldn't be able to cry like this if he wasn't strong, would he?"

Erza blinked. "I… you think so?" It was true that their son hadn't stopped crying for a moment since he'd first started – the sound had been in the background with little wavering for the past ten minutes… in fact it seemed to be getting louder now…

…only soon she would realize that the reason for that was not her son blaring more intensely but instead the baby getting closer.

"Erza-san?" she heard Wendy calling, prompting her to pull away from Jellal in a sudden movement. The youngest dragon slayer stood there with an armful of screeching newborn and a smile on her face. "I think someone is very anxious to meet you."

Erza shot the younger girl an incredulous look. "But… does this mean he's…"

"He's okay?" Jellal finished asking.

"The brat is fit as a fiddle," Porlyusica announced casually. "A bit on the runt side of the spectrum, but I couldn't find anything medically wrong with him and he appears to have most reflexes regular newborns do. We'll see how he takes to eating later, but at this point I can only say this was all much ado about nothing, really."

"Are you really sure?" Erza couldn't help but insist, out of sheer protectiveness. "Maybe you should make a more thorough examination…"

"Woman, we checked the brat from head to toe – anything more accurate would involve vivisecting him which, as much as I can't stand humans, I draw the line at. Just get the damn kid off Wendy's hair and, for God's sake, settle him down because he's even louder than you are!"

Erza blinked incredulously and before she knew it, the baby was being placed in her arms by the Dragon Slayer in question, which was not an easy task, given how much he was squirming around. After a while, she managed to figure out how to hold him securely in her arms although his tiny little limbs kept on thrashing around as he wailed and wailed. So loud… her tiny little baby, so fragile and yet so strong.

Her finger reached to tentatively brush against the little boy's cheek in an attempt to soothe him. "Shh… it's okay," she hushed him in the gentlest tone anyone in that tent had ever heard her using: her motherly tone, used for the very first time. "You're okay. There's no need to be scared."

The baby, like all babies, did not understand the meaning of any of the words she said, simple as they might be – she might as well have been speaking a foreign language, really. The voice, however, was as familiar as was the steady rhythm of a heartbeat that he heard while cuddled against her chest after living with it for months in the safety of the womb. It helped too that the arms he lay on were comfortable and that her touch was far nicer than the poking and prodding the big bad healer had put him through before. Everything about Erza screamed the words 'safe' and 'good' to him. And so, slowly, the screeching eased into wailing, the wailing into whimpering and the whimpering into nothing as he descended into a tentative slumber in that pair of arms that didn't feet quite exactly the same as his home for the past few months but as close as it could get.

"Aw… he just wanted to be in Mommy's arms, didn't he?" Wendy said, smiling widely before clearing her throat. "If it's okay with you two, I'll just go outside and give everyone an update. They're bound to be anxious."

Neither Erza nor Jellal responded, so caught up they were in admiring their son, so Porlyusica told the girl to just go ahead and do it because she wasn't going to get an answer anytime soon.

Just as Wendy left the tent, the baby started to shift a little and, seconds later, his lids opened slowly as he peered up sleepily at his mother for the first time with bleary eyes not quite used to light. Erza couldn't have possibly feel prouder at that moment. She felt like she could effortlessly fight a thousand enemies just to protect him, be it a thousand Tartarus, a thousand Pandemoniums or a thousand war-oriented foreign nations. Nothing would stop her in her path to protect that precious little thing in her arms. Her son.

"Hello," she whispered, again in that silk-soft tone she had saved up just for her little boy as her finger softly brushed his cheek. "I have been waiting to meet you for a very long time. This wasn't supposed to happen this soon, but I am very glad that you are here and okay."

The baby as expected, did not respond in words, but instead just shifted around a little, his little hands opening and closing as he yawned, one of them finding its way around a loose strand of his mother's red hair, which he grasped but didn't pull, holding it close to his face as he closed his eyes again, much to Erza's awe.

"Perfect," she whispered, before finally forcing herself to look away from her son and over at Jellal. "Isn't he the most perfect thing you have ever seen?" she asked.

Jellal found himself unable to answer her question. He was too busy staring at their son with a look somewhere between terror, disbelief and wonder.

"I… I don't…" He ceased talking, leaving the sentence unfinished as he did not have the words in him to describe what he was feeling at the moment. He had, of course, been aware of his son's entrance into the world from the moment it had happened – the wait for Porlyusica's verdict on his wellbeing, however, had numbed down that feeling somewhat at first, though, so the whirlwind of feelings hadn't quite hit him until he'd finally seen the baby being placed on Erza's arms… the elation on her face as it happened.

And suddenly, the reality of it ran him over like a freight train. He was a father… Erza was a mother… to the _same baby_. _That_ baby, so tiny and innocent in Erza's arms right in front of him. That was… something out of his wildest dreams. No matter how long he'd known it was coming, nothing could have ever prepared him for that because how could he – Jellal Fernandes, former fugitive, traitor, murderer – have contributed to make something… someone so… pure? The answer in his mind was simple – Erza. It was always Erza – his beautiful, brave Scarlet – who shone so bright that not even his darkness could hope to eclipse anything she had a hand on.

He watched in wonder as her thumb brushed the baby's cheek softly, reverently, and as his tiny hand came up and got a hold of her little finger, just barely succeeding in circling it. He was just _so small and helpless_. Healthy, Porlyusica assured them. Perfect, Erza deemed him. Theirs, his mind screamed at him _. All theirs._

He wanted to find the words to tell Erza much he loved her, how thankful he was for being given the chance to feel the things he was feeling at the moment, but his voice was simply not working. So, he did the next best thing – he decided to show her. The display was simple as he solely reached over and pressed a kiss to her brow, prompting her to look up at him and smile. Their eyes met for a couple of seconds before she let go of the baby's hand just long enough to touch his face and guide him down, his lips towards hers – the kiss that followed was soft and quick but full of meaning.

"You're welcome," she said as she pulled away and gave her finger back for the baby to hold. "You are very, _very_ welcome."

He might have blushed if he hadn't been left blinking, wondering if it was his ears, rather than his mouth, that had the problem and he had, in fact, said the words out loud without noticing it, because she certain seemed able to read his mind almost letter by letter… It might also be that she knew him that well or their connection just transcended the bonds of normal means of communication.

The fact was that she knew and the 'how' mattered little to their joy. Joy that an ever-present part of his mind screamed at him to reject because he would never, ever deserve it. Joy that he had never been so eager to accept even if that made him the most selfish person on Earthland. Still, eagerness or not, there was hesitation in his first motion to reach over and touch his son for the very first time, out of fear that his touch would, somehow, taint that pure, innocent baby. He fought through it with all his might, though, and soon his hand brushed against the soft fuzz on the top of the baby's head.

"Scarlet…" he observed out loud, finally finding his voice again.

Erza squinted. "You think? It's hard to tell in this light."

"It certainly doesn't look blue to me."

"It could be something in between," she pointed out.

"Maybe. But I have a feeling that it's red like yours. It feels right – another Scarlet with red hair."

"So, you haven't changed your mind about him having my last name?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I gave that name to you. It's ours, in a way, and I have no intention of letting it end with you."

She nodded. "Scarlet it is, then… Sieg Scarlet?" she asked, tentatively. The name had been the only one they had actually discussed as a possibility, although they hadn't fully decided on it in the end. It had been left on standby but, as things stood, that standby couldn't go on much longer.

"Sieg Scarlet…" Jellal repeated, testing out the words and trying to associate him in his head with the baby itself. Surprisingly, it was easy to see himself calling his son that. "I hope it's not too much of a burden on him…"

Erza smiled. "It won't be. We won't let it."

Jellal nodded, stroking the hand that the baby kept wrapped firmly around a lock of his mother's hair. He smiled at the sight of it, glad to find something they seemed to have in common so early on.

It wasn't long before the baby got fussy again, that time due to hunger, so between tentative, yet mostly successful attempts at feeding him, Jellal wasn't able to actually hold his son until he was about three quarters of an hour old. He didn't mind it, though, because the wait was more than worth it… well, once he got past the hard part, at least.

"Er… maybe we should just… leave him where he is," Jellal suggested, hesitating as the baby protested at being removed from his mother's oh-so-comfortable hold, clinging to the lock of hair he'd gotten a hold of like a lifeline.

"Maybe we are doing this wrong," Erza hesitated herself in the middle of the exchange. "He sounds upset. What if we're hurting him?"

"Don't be stupid. He's fine. Brats just don't like being handled," Porlyusica told him. "He'll quiet down once he's settled."

"Jellal-san, try to support his head a little more," Wendy suggested, prompting him to do just that in the most careful way possible to man. "Erza-san, I think you can let go. Jellal-san has him."

"Do you?" Erza asked her fiancé protectively. It wasn't that she thought he would drop their son. It just… she needed to make sure!

"I… I think so," he said softly. "Just go slowly… just in case," he suggested, equally protective.

Erza nodded, slowly letting go of what little of the baby's weight she was still supporting.

With that, the baby was left safely cocooned in Jellal's arms, wriggly as he might be, and the new father was free to feel the wonder of holding his son for the very first time. He was just so light… it was hard to believe that was how like started for everyone, himself included – as small, helpless little creatures, untainted by all things dark in the world. And even though he knew it was impossible, he wanted to keep him that way forever – small, innocent and blissfully ignorant.

As Porlyusica had predicted, little Sieg Scarlet did settle a little once he was safely in his father's arms, though he still stretched and shifted in search for a more comfortable sleeping position. Jellal smiled and went to adjust the blanket around the little boy. "Hi there, buddy," he said softly to the little boy. "I'm sorry that I'm not as comfortable a resting place as Mommy is. I hope you won't resent me too much for that."

"Nonsense. You have always been very comfortable to sleep on, as far as I am concerned," Erza protested, causing Wendy to let out a choked sound of embarrassment at what she perceived to be a _suggestive_ comment.

Jellal blushed a little because, despite how much she seemed to like using him as a pillow, he _was_ a bit lacking on… upper-body padding as opposed to Erza. But when he tried to look down at the baby in an attempt to hide his embarrassment, he saw that his son had found it fitting to open his eyes and look up at him with an utterly unimpressed expression on his face. Jellal found himself unable to look away, feeling like was somehow being assessed, and after a while the little boy finally let out some sort of strange little sound that could have been translated to 'You'll do' before closing his eyes and going to sleep in his father's arms like they were the safest place in the world.

"Oh," Jellal mumbled, finding himself at a loss of words all over again.

"See? He thinks you are perfectly suitable a resting place after all," Erza said with a smile on her face. It wasn't just the baby's acceptance that she was smiling about – if she was honest, she would say that she had seen it coming all along, really – but instead the whirlwind of feelings that seeing Jellal holding their child gave her. Her two boys. All hers.

Porlyusica didn't wait long before clearing her throat. "Alright… you feeling steady with that brat in your arms?" she asked Jellal.

"I… I think so. It's not so hard when he's not wriggling around," he said, smiling down at the slumbering little boy.

"Great. Then get the hell out of this tent and take the kid with you."

Jellal's eyes widened as he whipped his face around towards her. "Eh?"

"What nonsense are you saying?!" Erza demanded.

"Nonsense? There's no nonsense going on here. We have cleanup to do and men will only get in the way, regardless of their size, so it's best to keep them out of our hair for now… It'll be quicker if we do."

"But… but…" Erza mumbled, looking especially anxiously at her precious little baby she was yet to cease being in the same room as.

The old woman rolled her eyes. "Oh, get over it. If things go smoothly, you'll have him back here in no more than fifteen minutes, so let the man use that time to go outside and show the brat around before your guildmates swarm the place. God knows this guild is not known for its patience…"

Her hand still lingered against the baby's for a moment in reluctance, before finally giving in and finally starting to try and release the handful of hair that was firmly within the baby's grip, as carefully as humanely possible. The little boy protested nonetheless, until she placed a kiss on the little hand and then on the top of his head. "Be good for Daddy, okay?" she whispered to him.

The baby squirmed a little but quieted down as Jellal tucked the wrapping more closely around him. "It's okay. We'll be back in no time," he reassured her.

"Don't let him get cold," she instructed him, even though the tropical weather of the island meant it was actually rather balmy outside. "And also…"

"Yes?"

"Tell everyone that the first person to touch my baby with dirty hands will lose a limb to my dullest sword," she informed him in all seriousness.

Jellal's eyes widened in surprise, not only at the sudden outburst but also at the fact that she actually owned swords that were not in top condition.

"I…"

"I mean it, Jellal. _Tell them_. Word. By. Word."

"O-okay…"

And he actually did, despite his reluctance… though only when he saw a small crowd rushing towards him at frightening speed as soon as he left the tent with the baby in his arms. The warning worked like a charm, though, causing everyone's eyes to widen in alarm and sending them all in the opposite direction, running towards the makeshift sanitary facilities where sounds of ' _hurry up!'_ and ' _stop hogging the soap!'_ could be heard throughout the next few minutes.

Meredy turned out to be the first one finishing the task, rushing towards her teammate as soon as she was done.

"Baby!" the pink-haired mage shouted as she rushed over. "Lemme see! Lemme see!"

"Calm down," he told her as his son started to squirm at his newfound noisy surroundings. "And don't speak so loudly. You'll scare him."

"Sorry," she mumbled apologetically before taking a good look at the baby. "Aw, look at this pint-sized little guy. Aren't you a cute little thing?" In a red, wrinkly sort of way, she couldn't help but think. Hopefully not for long, though. "Aunty Meredy has so much to teach you…"

"Oh, god, please don't," Jellal begged. "He's too little for you to start corrupting."

Meredy, unsurprisingly, ignored his request. "And look at _you_ ," she added, looking up at the new dad. "Now you have a baby to go along with your uncool dad tendencies. How does it feel to have living proof of your endeavors with Erza in the bedroom?"

His eyes widened as his cheeks became very, _very_ red. "M-Meredy!"

She didn't look sorry at all. But then, her face fell a little. "I wish Ul was here… she'd be so happy."

Being faced with the mention of Ultear, he felt himself deflating a little bit. "I know. Me too." As much as she'd made it her life's mission to torture him through teasing, she'd unquestionably been part of the family.

"Oh goodness, he's so tiny," Lucy whispered, looking at her friend's baby as she joined in with some of the other girls. She reached further to touch the little arm that had freed itself from the blanket but then stopped, suddenly fearful. "Wait, is it okay if I touch him? I mean, he looks so… breakable."

"He's been passed around a handful of times, already. He'll probably be fine," Jellal assured her.

Satisfied, Lucy brushed her finger against the silky skin of his arm, causing the baby to flinch and stretch it, opening and closing the little hand. "Aw… can you imagine him swinging a sword with that tiny hand?"

"Or punching Natsu and Gray with it? So cute!" Levy added.

"Hey! We're not getting beaten up by a kid!" Gray protested as he made his way to them.

"Baby…" Juvia mumbled by his side, wide-eyed as if on a trance.

"Mira-nee will be green with envy when she hears Erza had her baby before her. Unless she's had the twins in the meantime, which I hope not because I really want to be there," Lisanna added.

"His hair is definitely on the reddish side," Meredy said. "Damn it, Jellal! You've just cost me money – I was counting on you!"

"What on Earthland are you talking about?"

"Oh, just a few wagers on the side…" Cana stated.

"So, is Erza okay?" Levy asked.

"Of course she's okay! Didn't you hear him passing along her threats already?!" Gray pointed out before Jellal could even respond.

Jellal chuckled. "Yes, she's going great. She… she is amazing, actually."

"Tch… as if he wasn't whipped enough already before she gave him a baby," Cana commented and at that point he was so happy that he didn't even bother to deny it.

"Well, does this young man have a name yet?" the Master asked as he broke through the crowd that had formed around him, followed by a silent Master Mavis, who looked equal parts happy and nostalgic.

That was a moment he'd been dreading a little. "Sieg," he said softly. "His name is Sieg. Sieg Scarlet."

After he said that, came a long moment of silence. He trembled inside for as long as it lasted, waiting for their indignation… but it never came.

"Sieg Scarlet…" Lucy replied. "Wow, that actually sounds pretty nice."

"Yeah, it's the alliteration," Levy agreed.

"I wonder how long it will take for everyone to know that name. Not very long, if he turns out anything like his mommy," Lisanna commented.

" _And_ daddy," Meredy added before nodding. "This guy may be a self-pitying idiot a tad too often, but he still manages to do pretty impressive stuff every once in a while."

"Meredy…"

"Oh, shut up and take the compliment. No self-deprecating nonsense for you on Sieg-chan's birth day."

He blinked. They were already using diminutives and everything. "I… I thought you might question it."

"Question what?" Lucy asked.

"His name," he pointed out. Mostly, people looked at him in confusion. "Because of the similarity, I mean… to Siegrain."

"Who?" Lisanna asked, completely unfamiliar with the name. She had, after all, been stuck in Edolas at the time.

"Where have I heard that name before?" Alzack wandered out loud.

"Oh, yes… it was your evil alias back when you were in the council," Evergreen recalled like it was the most casual thing in the world.

"Wow – that was ages ago! I didn't even remember it anymore," Bisca mumbled.

"I did, but didn't make the connection," Levy pointed out. "It's not even the same name, though, is it?"

"Even if it was, you probably had your reasons, anyway," Lucy pointed out, since the connection had crossed her mind for a moment before brushing it off.

"This had better not be some convoluted way for you to punish yourself, you hear me?" Meredy had to warn him narrowing her eyes.

"What? No, of course not. I… the name Sieg had no business being twisted into Siegrain in the first place. This is just… righting a wrong, in a way. It's a long story."

Gray shrugged. "Whatever. It's your business, not ours… though, I have to admit I was prepared to speak up if Erza had decided to name the kid something weird like… I dunno, Strawberry or whatever."

"I know, right?" Levy agreed. "I was scared for the poor thing. I love Erza, but we have to admit… her tastes are kind of _weird._ "

"And we all know how hard it is to say 'no' to her," Lucy said. "So, yeah, Sieg is good. Sieg is a _great_ name!"

"For the record, I think my babies' names sound a whole lot better," Bickslow pointed out from a distance.

"Shut up!"

Cana cleared her throat. "So, back to business, tell us, Jellal, who's gonna be the first holding the little bugger?" she asked. "Because I've got bets made on that too."

" _I will!_ " Natsu's voice shouted from a distance. Shirtless and still wearing damp clothes from his bath, which he clearly was in the process of drying with his heightened body temperature, the fire Dragon Slayer broke through the crowd, making a beeline for the newborn. After taking one look at him, he did not look impressed. "Gee, did you drop him on his face already? It looks kinda flat."

"Natsu!" Lucy shouted. "You are such a moron! He was _just_ born!"

"Still. Weird-looking kid."

"I dare you to say that in front of Erza," Evergreen said. "It'll be your funeral."

"I'm just saying the truth! I guess maybe he'll grow out of it and look like Erza or Jellal…" he paused for a moment and leaned closer so that his face was only an inch and a half away from the little boy. "Hmm… his hair of sort of the same color as Er… _gah!"_ he yelped as the little baby whimpered and flailed his arm around, hitting him right in his open left eye – it wasn't hard at all, really, but when it came to being hit right in the eye, it didn't take much for it to feel unpleasant. "Did you see that?! He hit me!"

"It was probably just a reflex…" Bisca commented.

"Yeah, a _beast_ reflex," Happy said dramatically, hovering right next to Natsu. "'Cause he's gonna be a totally scary boy-clone of Erza's when he gets older! There will be _two_ of them! You should get away, Natsu."

"Boy Erza…" Natsu said, his eyes twinkling not in fear but with excitement. "No way, I'm not going anywhere! Now I definitely have to be the first holding him! Come on, Jellal, hand Boy Erza over!"

"Natsu! He has a name. It's Sieg!" Lucy scolded him.

"Tch… whatever. Boy Erza is way better. That's what I'm calling him from now on."

"You can't just replace people's names!" Levy protested. "And no way you'll be the first to hold him! We were here first!"

"But I'm the leader of Erza's team!"

"Dream on! You're not the leader of anything! Especially not a team I'm a part of," Gray defied him.

"It's called 'Team Natsu' for a reason."

"Only because I wasn't around when you named it! And forget about being the first to hold Erza's kid! I was her first friend at the guild – that gives me dibs!"

"Boy Erza will freeze on your cold, snowman arms!"

"And he'll probably get heatstroke in your scorching hot ones!"

Suddenly, Gajeel appeared out of nowhere to join the fight. "As if I'll let you morons beat me on this. _I'll_ get to hold the brat first… gi-hi!"

"The hell?!"

"You haven't even known Erza for half as long as _we_ have. And do you even _like_ babies?" Gray demanded.

"He can't help but have a weakness for small, cute things," Lily pointed out.

"Shut it, Cat!"

Jellal took a step back, clutching the baby closer to his chest protectively. "Guys…!"

"Tch…" Meredy hissed, shaking her head. "Those idiots, fighting over a baby. Quick, Jellal, hand him over – if _I get_ to hold him first, they'll be fighting over nothing."

"Hey! Get in line!" Lucy barked.

"That is very sneaky of you, Meredy-chan!" Juvia accused.

"But I'm his aunty-slash-big-sister-slash-future-role-model! Clearly that gives me precedence!"

"Please, if you're all that to him, then so are we!"

The Master cleared his throat loudly. "Kids, that will be enough fighting! You are being completely ridiculous…"

"It's this moron's fault for rushing in here and truing to crash the front of the line," Gray accured, pointing his finger at Natsu.

The Master ignored him. "… because clearly, as the ruling Master of this guild, _I_ have precedence."

Half of the people present gaped. The other half just looked completely unsurprised.

"You wanna fight me for the right, old man?!" Natsu dared him

Bisca sighed. "How about you don't and just let Jellal decide who gets to hold _his_ son first?"

And as thankful as Jellal might be that at least someone was thoughtful enough to take his opinion into account, he could have done without having all eyes on him.

"Well?" Lucy prompted.

"Pick _me_!" Natsu demanded. "I'm the only one out of this bunch who's ever mopped the floor with you in a fight. You owe me this!"

"That argument doesn't make _any_ sense," Freed remarked.

Jellal took another step back. Who to pick… hmm, if he was honest about it, he'd go with no-one. It wasn't that he didn't trust his guild mates. He just… he just couldn't help but feel almost irrationally protective of his son – he was just so fragile and new! But if he really had to go with someone, it was probably a good idea to pick the person with the most experience holding babies in that island. "Er… I… I think Master does have a point. As the eldest person in the group, he naturally gains precedence, so…"

"Wait a second! _I'm_ older!" Natsu protested. "I'm like…" he paused for a second, scratching his chin before turning to Zeref, who was respectfully standing far away from the group, mindful that his place in it was tenuous at best (especially in an occasion so deeply connected to someone – Jellal – who had actively tried to hunt him down and whose life had nearly been destroyed in his name) "… hey, Zeref, how old am I again?"

"Twenty-one," he blandly replied from where he stood.

"Like hell, bastard! I'm only a handful of years younger than _you_ are! So, how old does that make me?"

"Irrelevant. The rules of courtesy hardly take into account the many centuries that you spent as a dead body, Natsu, so just stand down."

"Come on! I'm like a thousand, aren't I?"

"Not even close."

"Damn it, Zeref!"

As the Dragneel brothers went on fighting… or rather, Natsu went on whining and Zeref just sighed in exasperation, Makarov did, indeed, become the first to hold the baby… that was, after the parents and acting midwives has had their turn. He, as Jellal had expected, did it with all the ease of a man who'd already held countless babies, from his own son, to his grandson, passing through all the children of the many members of the guild, which served to ease the new father's nerves.

"It's a fine boy indeed," Makarov said to Jellal after several minutes holding the baby. "No doubt he has inherited yours and Erza's strength – it's nothing short of a blessing that he came out so healthy under the circumstances."

Jellal sighed. "Yes… it was quite the stressing arrival."

"What matters is that all went well in the end. A healthy baby and a healthy mother," Master Mavis remarked, looking incredibly relieved as she peaked over Makarov's shoulder. "It has been a long time since I have had someone in this world who has the same birthplace as I do. It feels… good. I hope you will feel comfortable with bringing him by often when he is older. I would be happy to tell him all about the place where he was born."

He nodded. "That sounds like a good plan," he said.

Just then, Makarov decided to clear his throat, sick of watching his kids sending him impatient looks. "Alright, brats. My arms are getting tired, so have at it."

That time, however, there was no field battle for the right to hold the baby, as Master Mavis quickly established that they would leave it to luck by drawing a straw.

"Whoever gets the longest also gets the baby," she stated. And because she was the First, everyone obeyed without questioning.

The winner was Lucy… or rather, it was Loke, who conceded his win to his master in yet another attempt to woo her (mostly for the sake of messing with Natsu, who immediately tried to pick a fight).

"Wow, he's so light," the celestial mage said, cuddling the little boy close to her chest as she finally had her turn. He settled surprisingly easily in her arms – unknowingly to them because he found her 'chest padding' very comfortable –under Jellal's watchful eye. "He's even lighter than Happy."

"Wha…? Natsu! Lucy is being mean. She's bullying me about my weight!" The winged cat complained to his owner.

"Come on, Lucy… you'll give the little guy a complex," the Dragon Slayer told her.

She gaped. "You're sticking up for him?! He calls me heavy every time he flies me around and you never say a word!"

Natsu shrugged. "You're the one who always complains that your boobs weigh a ton and make your back hurt…"

"That is not helpful!"

"Speaking of Lucy's heavyweight boobs, look! Boy Erza is a pervert! He's rubbing his face all over them!" Happy announced said.

Lucy blushed. "Shut up, you idiot! He's a baby – he doesn't know what he's doing. He's probably just trying to get comfortable!" she replied.

"Actually," Bisca spoke. "I think he may be hungry." She turned to Jellal. "Did Erza feed him before you brought him out?"

He blushed a little at the question. "Yeah."

"Hmm… it's always hard to tell how much they actually eat when they're this little… then again, maybe it's just natural instinct. Asuka did that sometimes."

"Wait," Natsu spoke. "How do you get that he might be hungry from him perving up on Lucy's boobs?"

"He's not perving up! He's looking for food!" Lucy shouted.

"In your boobs?"

"Yes! That's where it usually comes from!"

"Women's boobs?" Natsu asked, his eyes widening. By his side, Happy was absolutely speechless, looking equally horrified.

"Their mothers', yes," Bisca explained. "Honestly, Natsu, you really have never heard of breastfeeding?"

At the word, the Dragon Slayer's eyes widened even further. "No! Why would you do such a thing?!" he said in absolute horror.

"Don't be a moron. It's perfectly natural."

By then, he was staring at the sharpshooters' breasts in a rather open fashion. It was a good thing Alzack was busy helping Cana calculating everyone's winnings. "Did _you_ do it with Asuka?"

"Yes."

"But… they look so normal," he whispered.

"How do you hide the missing chunks?" Happy asked.

"Sweet Mavis," an incredulous Jellal said under his breath, starting to get a picture of what they meant before any of the girls did. It was… revolting. So, predicting the explosion that was about to come, he collected his son from Lucy's arms and moved away to a safe distance from the explosion that he could see coming from a mile away.

Bisca stared. "What are you talking about?"

"You know. The missing… bits," Natsu mumbled. "The ones that you fed Asuka."

There was about ten seconds of silence.

"What on Earthland is wrong with you, Natsu?!" the sharpshooter actually screamed.

"What's wrong?" Lisanna asked as she approached, having moved away from the group that was busy collecting their money from Cana. "Natsu, what did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything! They're telling me really gross stuff and then get mad when I ask about it!"

"Lisanna! Babies are horrible! Help me – he'll eat me too!" Happy shouted, throwing himself into his foster mother's arms.

"We didn't tell you any of the stuff that apparently you're imagining!" Lucy shouted. "We were explaining to him what breastfeeding was and guess what these morons concluded – that human flesh is the main ingredient!"

"Oh my god! Natsu!" Lisanna said, horrified. "And you too, Happy! What sort of gore are you two watching?"

"But they said…!" Natsu accused.

"We didn't!" Bisca replied.

"So, babies aren't cannibals?" Happy asked, mildly relieved.

"No!" Lucy told him. "They don't even have teeth!"

"Then why were you talking about babies being hungry and boobs being where their food is at?"

She sighed. Why couldn't he be a little more studious like his brother? Really, just basic knowledge of biology would have sufficed… "Natsu, small babies can only eat milk. Milk that is usually produced by their mother's breasts. Thus, it being called breastfeeding."

"Wait," Natsu mumbled. "So what you're telling me is that Erza's boobs have milk now? Like a cow?"

Not one second after he uttered the word, he felt a gush of hair near his left cheek, which a blade thrown by somebody had just narrowly missed. As he looked at the source of it, he saw he murderous-looking redhead standing a few yards away, another throwing knife already on her hand, ready to fly his way.

"Erza?!" Jellal called in disbelief.

"What sort of filth are you uttering around my son?!" she shouted.

Both Natsu and Happy screamed, hugging each other. "We're not saying it to him! Jellal's got him all the way over th… _guahh_!" Natsu screamed as the second knife was thrown fractions of an inch from him, hitting a tree at a distance. "Let's beat it, Happy! Having a kid has made her even crazier!"

And so, they ran. For once, Erza refrained from chasing because… _ouch_ , she thought, shifting uncomfortably. Alright, so maybe Porlyusica had been right about telling her to stay put even though she felt like she desperately needed to get some air. The others seemed to agree.

"What are you doing here?!" Gray shouted from a distance.

"You've just given birth! Go back to bed!" Lucy told her.

"Already back on her feet! That's a…"

"Say 'man' and spend the rest of your days as a very dumb-looking garden ornament!" Evergreen threatened her boyfriend.

"I just needed to stretch my legs for a minute and get some air," Erza said.

"Go ahead and run a marathon too, why don't you? Climb a mountain and do some splits while you're at it," Porlyusica said sarcastically, exiting the tent after her. "I'm saying this for everyone to bear witness: from this moment on, I am washing my hands from the bottomless pit of stubbornness that is this woman. If she bleeds to death from overdoing it, I guess it will be a tragedy for the new motherless human but, for the record, I did tell her to stay put. That is all!"

"Porlyusica-san!" Wendy said. "Please don't make it sound so grim…"

"Oh, but she _should_ make it sound grim," the Master said. "At least sit down, for the love of god! Somebody get this woman a chair."

"Make it a lounge chair," somebody supplied.

"We don't have any lounge chairs!"

"Laki! Can you make us one with your Wood-make?"

"Already on it!"

And so, after less than a minute of scrambling around, a lounge chair was produced and Erza was ushered to it by her concerned guildmates.

"Where is my ba…?"

"Right here," Jellal responded before she could finish, handing the baby back to his mother.

She accepted him eagerly, having missed the boy like a lost limb, and, rather than cradling him in her arms as she did before, she lay him belly-down along her chest so that she only needed to lean her neck down a little bit for her lips to brush against the top of his head. The little boy seemed happy enough with the arrangement, quickly retrieving his beloved lock of hair and falling asleep clutching onto it. Sitting on the edge of the lounge chair, Jellal adjusted the blanket around the baby and remained there, softly rubbing the baby's back.

"On, well… I suppose it's about time I go and warn the people at the ship to get ready for us to board again," Makarov announced at some point.

"Eh?" Erza uttered in confusion. She wasn't the only one surprised – several guild members started whispering among themselves as the words were said.

"Now, what on Earthland would you be doing that for, senile old man?" Porlyusica demanded.

"To take us home, _obviously_."

"What for?!"

"What do you mean 'what for'?!" he replied. "It is bad enough that child was born so far from home. Don't you think we should get him home as soon as possible?! We can come back for the rest later."

"Why would I be in such a rush? Brats were born in the wild all the time before civilization was created. The kid is fine, the mother is fine, we have plenty of food and water on hand – if anything, making her travel for hours in an uncomfortable ship will be even worse than lounging around this place while you get on with the stupid trials. Plus, it's bad enough that you made me come into this island one time, so unless you plan to altogether cancel goddamn nuisance of a test for the year, you'll be doing it without me when you return!"

"Porlyusica…!"

"Also, you sound awfully generous for someone who's always looking for spare change under the couch cushions. How much did they charge you for the round-trip again? Because it sure must have come cheap if you're willing to pay it twice."

The old man blanched at that argument because it had been anything _but_ cheap. So, reluctantly, he turned to face the new mother in the group. "Erza, are you comfortable with these plans?"

"Very much so," she assured him.

Makarov sighed. "Oh, alright, have it your way then, brats. I guess it's getting dark, so it's too late to start the trials today. I suggest you make it an early night, though, because I want this show on the road tomorrow at dawn. Jellal, if you'd rather sit this one out and spend time with…"

"He's going," Erza said firmly. "Sieg and I will be here to congratulate him when he wins."

Jellal just sighed, quietly accepting his fate. Was there even a point in saying 'no' when things had already come that far?

Erza seemed happy with his lack of protesting, as did everyone with the current arrangement. For a little while, people crowded them to see the baby, but once they realized that he was really out of it, they started spreading out, taking varied tasks around the campground: Elfman and Lisanna getting dinner started, Lucy going to look for Natsu with Levy in a tow (who, in turn, dragged Lily and Gajeel behind her), Gray and Juvia going to the nearby spring to get some water and others doing some last-minute training or just lazying around.

"Aren't you tired?" Jellal asked Erza after they were left alone, just the three of them – their little family.

"Hmm… maybe a little." Truth to be told, she'd been running on fumes since the birth and it was getting harder and harder to stay awake.

"You can rest a little now," he told her. "I'll wake you in time for dinner."

She was a little reluctant to accept the suggestion. "Is it strange that I'm afraid that If I fall asleep I'll wake up and this will have all been a dream?"

"No. But I don't think dreams hurt as much as having a baby seemed to. Good dreams at least… so I think you're safe," he reassured her.

She nodded and then, after spending a long moment looking at him, she spoke. "Have I ever thanked you for this?"

"Thanked _me_?" he replied in disbelief. If anything, he should thank her. In fact, he already had.

She responded with yet another nod. "I know happiness isn't easy for you to swallow … or at least it wasn't in the beginning because of all that guilt you feel. So thank you pushing through that. I know you do it for me… and if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be feeling what I'm feeling right now. I don't think I would have it in me to share this with anybody else."

"Erza…"

"Now shush," she stopped him before he could go on some sort of tirade against himself and ruin the moment. "It's sleepy time."

He sighed. "Well, sweet drams, then," he told her, reaching to press a kiss to her brow and then doing the same to their son. "To the both of you."

"Hmm… I doubt they can be as sweet as reality was today," she mumbled.

He smiled. "No. I suppose they can't."

 **To be continued.**

 **A/N2: See you in the epilogue!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: No, I am not dead in a ditch somewhere... sorry for the delay but stuff has been hectic lately. Here's the epilogue. Finally.**

It was roughly two and a half days after they had left for the S-Class trials that the bulk of the guild members finally made it back to Magnolia.

"We're back!" Natsu shouted as soon as he stepped in through the door of the guild hall with, far ahead of everyone. With the amount of energy he was displaying at the moment, no one would be able to tell that just ten minutes before he had been crippled with motion sickness from the train ride all the way from Hargeon Port.

"Welcome home," Mira pleasantly replied from the loveseat where she sat reading a magazine with her feet up, looking huge and extremely uncomfortable from the advanced state of her pregnancy. "How did things go in Tenrou Island? Did the test go well? Who passed?"

"Yeah. Did you finally make it to S-Class or what, Moron?" Laxus questioned, taking off his headphones just for the purpose of annoying the Dragon Slayer because… well, it was Natsu and he just felt like it.

"Oi! I've been S-Class for a whole year, asshole! You know that!" The fire-breathing dragon-slayer replied.

"Hmm… must have forgotten. Probably because it's hard to picture an idiot like you ever making the cut," Laxus said casually.

Just like that, Natsu unceremoniously dumped his bag on the floor and started rolling up his sleeves. "Gimme a minute and I'll show you exactly how I made the cut!"

Laxus just rolled his eyes. "Tch… annoying brat."

On her seat, Mira beamed. "Oh, I missed having you guys around. It's been just so boring ever since you left."

"That's so cruel Mira-chan," Wakaba commented from where he stood with Macao, oddly carrying a mop and a bucket, his friend matching the theme with an apron and rubber gloves on.

"We've been keeping you plenty of company for the past couple of days," Macao stated.

"… cleaning the guild because you thought it was a bit musty…"

"… minding the bar so you wouldn't have to while Kinana is off…"

"… sneaking yourselves some booze when you thought no one was looking…" Laxus made a point of adding to their list of tasks.

"Now, now, Laxus, they helping out free of charge, which I am very thankful for. What difference will a few drinks make?" Mira pointed out.

"Still," Lisanna stated, entering the guild just in time to hear the tail of the conversation and making a beeline to her elder sister, who she was more than a little relieved to see in the same state she'd been when she'd left. "Shame on you for enslaving those two poor guys just like that. You know I would have had plenty of time to clean the guild once I got back."

"Oh, but it was so much more practical to do it while you guys were away. I was going to do it myself, but those two took the broom right out of my hands as soon as they saw me picking it up."

"Because, as dimwitted as they may be, even they can spot crazy from a distance," Laxus commented.

Mira sighed. " _You_ could have lent them a hand, you know?"

"Hn… someone's got to keep an eye on you in case you come up with more brilliant ideas like cleaning up the guild when you can barely move," he mumbled.

She found his concern sweet, although she knew that at least fifty percent of it was as much of an excuse not to get his hands dirty as his penchant for 'getting lost' doing chores in the midst of vanilla jobs the Raijinshuu sometimes picked up, such as helping out in Yajima's restaurant or assisting with the preparations for a random festival or cultural display of some sort.

"Anyway," she said, turning back to her arriving guild mates. "It's been strange without all the noise," she said.

"You'll get your noise alright," Happy snickered, floating by her.

"C'mon, Laxus! You gonna sit there all day or fight me?" Natsu asked, just as Lucy stepped into the guild with Levy.

"Oh, for the love of God! You've been back two minutes!" the Celestial Mage said, glaring at Natsu. "Two minutes and you're already picking a fight?!"

"Laxus started it! Tell her, Happy!"

"Yeah, he kind of did," the cat supplied.

"Can't you brats keep yourselves from fighting for five minutes?! One worse than the other," the Master barked as he made his way in. "Natsu, stay put! Laxus, stop provoking him!"

"Tch… like he needs much to get him in a mood to fight, anyway," Laxus commented.

"Shut up!" Natsu shouted back.

"Quiet!" the older man said, shooting them one last glare before turning around to face Mira. "Ah, Mira, my dear… How are you feeling? It's a relief to see you still…" well, pregnant – very, _very_ pregnant – unlike _some_ people "… glowing with impending motherhood."

Mira sighed. "To be honest, Master, I would be happier if that impending motherhood turned into actual motherhood. My back could use a rest from all this extra weight…" she mumbled before shaking her head and turning to face the growing crowd of guild members. "Anyway, you guys are still holding out on us about the best part! Who made it through the trials this year, after all?"

"I did," Gray declared, hearing the question as he walked in, his face apparently completely impassive to the fact that Juvia was currently wrapped around his arm like a barnacle.

"Juvia did too!" the jubilious water-mage declared. "It must be a sign that this is Juvia and Gray-sama's year, so they should get married before it ends!"

"If that's the case, you should hurry with the preparations, Juvia-chan," Meredy commented. "There's only two weeks left, after all…"

"Don't go around feeding her crazy ideas! We're not getting married!" Gray protested. From the corner of his eye, he saw Juvia severely deflating, looking positively crushed, and started feeling a little bad… maybe he shouldn't have been so harsh. "This year, anyway," he added in a mumble, making a point of looking away.

" _Tsundere_ ," Cana declared, hiding the word behind a cough.

"I heard that!"

"But what about the third spot?" Mira asked. "I thought there was room for three people to get promoted this year. Don't tell me only two made it! Such a shame…"

"Oh, no, Jellal did too," Meredy proudly declared. "But it seems like he fell behind the rest of us on the way here… probably fawning all over Erza."

"Oh, you guys went to pick her up from Mermaid Heel on the way here, then?" Mira questioned.

Her guild mates looked at each other hesitatingly. Well… that was awkward. It hadn't been long after they'd discovered Erza stowing away in the ship that Mira had called the Master via com-lacrima to express her concern about her rival's whereabouts since she was taking so long to return from Hargeon, where she'd gone to see Jellal off. Faced with her enquiry, the Master – fiercely protective of his beloved granddaughter-in-law, especially in her 'delicate' condition – had been hesitant to upset her with the truth: that her equally pregnant friend had just gone through a hellish trip and might be faced with having her baby miles and miles away from civilization. As such, he had done the opposite – he had lied and said Erza had decided at the last moment to go and visit Kagura and Millianna while they were gone. Of course, he failed to take into account that such a lie wouldn't go on very long and now it was time to face the music.

"Ah, about Erza, Mirajane…" the Master started. "I may have… misled you a little bit concerning her where she was for the past few days."

" _Misled_ me?"

"That's Gramps speech for 'lied through his teeth'," Laxus helpfully supplied.

"Quiet, brat!"

Mira cleared her throat, her face not looking amused at all. "So, do tell me, Master. How was I… misled?"

"Oh, well, my dear, Erza… Erza never really did go to Mermaid Heel."

The barmaid narrowed her eyes. "She didn't?"

"No… you see, through a rather… interesting succession of events, she actually ended up… accompanying us."

Mira blinked. "Accompanying you," she repeated. "To…"

"Tenrou Island, yes."

"Tenrou Island?! In the state she's in?!" There was a bit of concern in her voice too – rivals they might be, but she and Erza were, above all, friends. The redhead might just be her closest female friend, in fact, and the thought of in how many differently things could have just gone wrong for her… it was scary. "Is she okay? How did this happen?"

"Ah, never mind the 'how'," the Master told her. "Let me just reassure you that she is perfectly fine."

Gray snorted. "I'd go with better than fine," he pointed out.

Lucy nodded eagerly. "Yeah, she's _great_."

"Over the moon," Juvia provided, attempting to surpass her love-rival's words.

"Super weird," Natsu mumbled. "Igneel was totally right when he said that women go nuts when they have a… mhumph!" he finished, his voice being completely muffled by the sandwich that Lucy pulled out of her bag and pushed straight onto his mouth.

"Here, have some food! You look hungry!"

He mumbled some nonsense around the sandwich but didn't spit it out because, after hours throwing up in a train, he did feel quite hungry indeed.

Mira narrowed her eyes, recognizing a clear sign of deception. "What aren't you guys telling me?" she said, her eyes narrowed and her tone sharp.

The Master gulped silently but Lisanna was the one to actually speak. "Ah, there was a bit of a bump on the road what with her… stowing away with us."

"Define 'bump on the road'."

Before Lisanna could even open her mouth to explain, the voice of the redhead in question came from behind the small crowd of people surrounding Mira's seat. " _Victory. Complete and utter victory,"_ Erza herself offered.

Mira was a bit confused for a moment before her guild mates made room for the redhead to pass… and then, as her eyes landed on a small cocoon of blankets in the arms of her rival, everything became clear. Very clear.

"No…"

Erza's face looked smug – so _very_ smug. " _I_ win," she declared. She didn't even need to say what – it was too clear that she was referring to their competition in all things pregnancy-related.

"No!"

" _Yes!"_

"Oh boy," Jellal mumbled behind Erza, already foreseeing the oncoming showdown. Now, if only he could get his little son out of the battlefield… but he was right in the center of it – and there was no way his mother would hand over the baby when having him in her arms made it so much easier for her to rub the situation all over her rival's face.

"This is not fair!" Mira screeched. "I'm having twins! Twins are supposed to come earlier than singletons! How can yours have come first?!"

"Oh, don't take it personally. It's to be expected that _regular_ babies would lag behind the utter superiority of my precious baby boy," she declared, full of false modesty. "Born in the the guild's holy land and everything – how many people can claim being _that_ special?"

"Oh, god, she's one of _those_ moms. Mavis help that kid," Macao could be heard whispering to Wakaba, who just nodded gravely.

"You _bitch_!" was Mira's response to the jab.

"Mira!" Lisanna scolded.

"It's not fair!" she repeated, feeling her hormones starting to take over her temper. "Look at me! I… I'm _huge_. I can't see my own feet! If I drop something on the floor I can't bend down to pick it up, my back aches all the time… _why won't they just come out already?!"_

Sensing an incoming meltdown, Laxus quickly put himself to work. "Alright people, spread out. Nothing to see here. Go drink each other under the table or whatever. Freed, Bickslow, Evergreen, get the bar running," he added, turning to his team.

Freed nodded dutifully. "You can count on us."

Most of the people obeyed the Master's grandson, only a handful staying behind to try and help calming Mira down. Bisca was one of them.

"Mira, these things take their time," she tried to explain gently.

"They didn't with _her,"_ Mira protested, glaring at Erza.

"Yeah, well, that didn't feel like much of a victory at first either," the sharpshooter pointed out, sending Erza a pointed look that urged her to speak. "Especially when there's still a few weeks to go and you're having a baby in the middle of nowhere, no matter how 'holy' the land might be."

The redhead looked away for a moment, feeling a tiny bit guilty that she'd ended up upsetting Mira rather than just annoying her. "It… it wasn't pleasant… not knowing if everything would turn out well," she reluctantly admitted.

"But… it did, didn't it?" Mira asked, feeling mildly concerned over hearing Erza admitting that.

The redhead nodded. "We were lucky. But he's tiny… we'll have to be extra careful with him for some time."

"Oh," Mira mumbled.

"So, as you see, Mira-nee, you have nothing to be jealous of," Lisanna concluded.

"It probably won't be too long for you, Mira-san," Wendy pointed out. "Like you said, twins tend to come earlier, so Erza-san's little boy will have a couple of playmates soon enough."

Mira sighed. "That's a relief. I get that it's good for them to stay put, but I'm just about done with being pregnant."

"Asuka was two weeks late, so trust me, I know what that feels like," Bisca reassured her.

As it turned out, her words weren't that soothing. "Two weeks l…"

"I'm sure it won't happen to you!" Lisanna was quick to assure her. If not for anything else, because there couldn't possibly be enough room…

"You don't know th…!"

"Mira," Erza interrupted the she-demon, causing her to turn around and face her, looking rather lost. "Would you like to hold him?"

The white haired woman blinked. "Oh, can I?" Erza nodded and she smiled with excitement, all thoughts of endless more weeks of pregnancy gone from her mind. "Gimme!"

And so, Erza did… hesitatingly and with several warnings ahead. "Support his head!"

"I am!" Mira protested.

"Make sure you're holding _him_ , not just the blankets, or else he'll slip out."

The barmaid glared. "I think I can tell a baby apart from blankets, Erza, thank you very much!"

Erza was quick to glare back. "I hope it goes without saying that if you drop him, I will _kill_ you in the most literal sense of the word."

"Of course. Same rule applies when it's your turn to hold my little darlings."

"Fair enough."

"Glad we're clear. Now unhand the baby and let auntie Mira have her turn."

Erza gave her one last warning look. "Be careful."

"Get a move on, mother hen!"

"Er... why don't you take my seat while I go and get diner started, Erza?" Lisanna offered, leaving her place by Mira's side on the loveseat, afraid to be caught in the collateral damage of their bickering.

Erza gracefully accepted the offer, thanking Lisanna, and was quick to occupy the seat as soon as she handed the baby over to Mira.

The barmaid practically melted as soon as she had him fully in her arms, squirming as he rearranged his position on his newfound resting place. For all the baby rivalry between herself and Erza, there was no way she could resist falling in love with such a tiny little thing.

"Now look at this little man," she said with a huge smile on her face. "Mavis, you are right. He _is_ tiny. I wonder if mine will be like this… there's only so much shared space for them to grow into…" She turned to face Erza, her eyes practically twinkling with curiosity. "How was it like holding him for the first time? Was it as amazing as you imagined?"

"Far more," Erza responded. She didn't go into much detail because there simply were no words in her mind that were strong enough to describe it.

Mira made a wounded sound. " _God_ , why won't mine just come? I really want to hold them like this!" She squeezed the baby maybe a tad too tightly in her eagerness, causing him to fuss a little. "Oh, sorry, sorry… er…"

"Sieg," Erza quickly provided, already having protectively put herself to work in soothing the little boy through soft reassuring whispers and gentle caresses.

"Sieg… Sieg-chan. Sorry, but Auntie just got a little emotional about those friends of yours that are taking so long to come by… I don't suppose you have some sort of special baby call to draw them out, do you?"

"He's a baby, Mira, not an animal," Erza pointed out, giving her an unamused look that quickly turned into bewilderment as she felt a strand of her hair being tugged and found her son's hand faithfully wrapped around it. Just like that, the frown became a smile and she reached to caress the baby's cheek.

Mira beamed. "Look at you, acting like a mommy."

"I _am_ a mommy now," Erza pointed out and the fact was just so new that the words felt foreign coming out of her mouth.

The white haired woman sighed. "I guess you really are, aren't you? Oh, alright, have it your way. I'll concede this win to you. _Only_ this one. We both know I've already gotten you beaten on numbers, anyway."

"You know what they say... can't have both quality and quantity."

"Funny, because, by that logic, the arsenal you keep in your requip space should be the shoddiest collection of weaponry there ever was..." Mira challenged her.

Erza gasped. "Do not insult my weapons! They are flawlessly crafted with only the best materials!"

"Do not insult by babies just because you have a cute one of your own!"

"Ah, so you do admit that my baby is the cutest of them all!" Erza concluded

"I did not use the superlative form of the word! I'll admit, he is a very cute baby… but mine haven't had the chance to make an appearance and surpass him yet, so it's only a matter of time," Mira pointed out.

"Dream on."

 _"You_ dream on!"

Several yards away, as he watched the scene from the bar where he stupid with his guild mates, Jellal shook his head.

"They're back at it," he commented, concerning the two women's squabbling.

"Forget it," Laxus replied. "They'll still be bickering about who has the longest cane when they're old and gray."

"Yeah, never mind them! We're celebrating here!" Cana remarked.

"A kid and a promotion to S-class in the same year!" Macao said.

"Try 'same week'," Gray pointed out.

"Same day?" Wakaba tried.

Meredy was the one to deny it. "He's not _that_ lucky."

"Still... _we_ wish we could have both in a lifetime. Lucky enough, I'd say."

Jellal chuckled. "It was a couple of challenging days all around," he modestly remarked. And the test _had_ been challenging. Very much so. However, after the oh-so-nightmarish experience with Erza's drive that he had gone through for those trials, he would have done just about anything short of dying or hurting his guild mates for them not to happen a second time.

"That's a man!" Elfman shouted.

"Shut up!" Evergreen screamed at him as she passed by with a trayful of drinks. "Make yourself useful and go help your sister in the kitchen!"

"But..."

"Now!"

She didn't need to say it again for the large man to obey.

Max snickered. "Elfman might keep saying he's a manly man, but it's clear who wears the pants in that relationship."

"You mean like that broomstick of yours does with you?" Warren replied.

"Hey!"

Sitting on a stool at the bar right by Jellal's side, the Master cleared his throat. "So, my boy, now that you've had a little time to enjoy fatherhood, how is it treating you so far?"

"Well, it's still very new. Sieg mostly sleeps, so… it still feels a little unreal… almost too amazing to be true," Jellal admitted.

Macao snorted. "It'll feel real enough when you're changing dirty diapers while completely sleep deprived and shower-less for three days."

"Just be thankful you got yourself a boy," Wakaba added. "That way, you're not outnumbered by females… and let me tell you, it's hell when they gang up on you!"

Gray snorted. "This is Erza we're talking about. She regularly beats entire armies single-handedly. You really think she needs reinforcements to get him to do whatever she wants?"

"Ah, now that you mention it, I think you may have a point there…"

"The guy was screwed from the start," Cana concluded. "Of course, now it's too late to run."

"'Cause we'll hunt you down if you try," Natsu vowed, feeling the issue hitting a little too close to home. "A kid needs his dad!"

"Yeah, we'll drag you back kicking and screaming!" Gajeel added.

Jellal shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere. You can rest assured of that." Any doubt – valid as it could be – that he might still have paled in comparison to the newfound responsibility he had found in fatherhood. That, he vowed, was not a job he was willing to screw up, even for the sake of his issues.

"Yeah, you'd _better_ ," Natsu insisted. "Even though Erza is all weird now. You know, with that whole…" he vaguely gestured towards his chest and shuddered, looking utterly disturbed.

"For god's sake, Natsu, how many times do we need to tell you that feeling babies like that is perfectly natural for you to understand?!" Lucy questioned.

"Natural, she says… you humans are so weird," Happy commented.

" _We_ are weird?! How do you think kittens feed themselves, stupid cat?" she barked back.

"I wouldn't know. I'm an _exceed_ , not a cat," the blue feline replied. "But I guess you being weird is good for you in a way – that way there is a point for those huge boobs of yours… you know, other than getting exposed for everyone to see every other week or so."

"That's it! You're dead!"

Confusion ensued after that. While even Lucy succumbed to the ways of her guild and chased murderously after the flying cat, who took great pleasure in remaining just out of her reach with his wings, Natsu randomly picked a fight with Gray over something trivial just to pass the time. Everyone was distracted watching, so Cana took great pleasure in pouring other people's drinks into her tankard behind their backs as the Master wept in horror in the background while his grandson described to him the pile of work that had arrived in his absence and was awaiting him upstairs.

In the meantime, Jellal just sat contently at the bar, nursing his drink while listening to Macao and Wakaba describing funny anecdotes of their children's early days… that was up until he saw Erza approaching – glaring at her errant guild mates while at the same time carefully avoiding their havoc and clutching the baby protectively to her chest. In the background, he vaguely saw Mira wobbling with difficulty towards the kitchen, likely to go and catch up with her siblings, who she'd barely had a chance to talk to yet since their return.

"Hey, are you done chatting with Mira?" he asked when she reached him. "L hope you did not part in bad terms..."

"Of course not… it's just a little healthy competition," Erza said.

'Healthy' was too generous a word for it. "I see. So, are you ready to l…?"

His sentence was interrupted by Gajeel joining in the fight between Natsu and Gray and ending up punched through a window by both mates. " _Natsu!_ _Gray!"_ the Master could be seen shouting in the background to the culprits. " _You'll be paying for that!"_

" _Add_ _my cut_ _to my tab, Gramps!_ "

" _Tabs are for drinks and food, not property damage!_ "

Erza frowned, shaking her head. "There's a newborn in the room. Would it kill them to be a little less rowdy?"

Jellal chuckled in a good-natured manner. "He seems to be taking it very well," he commented, reaching to pull the blanket down a little to get a glimpse of their son's sleeping face. "They do say babies hear things even in the womb. I guess he must have gotten used to all the noise around here before he was even born."

"Maybe," Erza offered with a sigh.

Jellal looked up. "You seem tired," he told her. She had already had plenty of chance to rest after having a baby but it never seemed like enough. He supposed the unfamiliar and exceedingly spartan surroundings of both the island and the ship might not have made her sleep as restful as they should. "Do you want to go home?"

She nodded. "Very much so. I miss our bed… and we need to get this baby actual clothes rather than a blanket." She looked down, adjusting the blanket – blankets – in question so it was properly wrapped around the snoozing little boy, and sighed. "I can't believe I didn't carry anything for him to wear in my requip space…"

"Well, you were quite sure that he wasn't going to come anytime soon, so…"

She groaned, mostly because she was embarrassed for having been so off with her predictions.

"We should probably stop for diapers on the way too," Jellal added, recalling yet another thing they hadn't prepared to. Washing the makeshift cloth diapers Porlyusica had made out of an old sheet every had been a nightmare so far…

Erza sighed. "We will be doing that a lot from now on, I imagine," she observed, looking down at her son for a moment. "Does it feel strange to you too? That we have a baby now?"

"Very much so," he admitted.

"Good strange, right?"

"Incredibly good," he assured her. "So let's take this baby home now, shall we?"

She smiled and then nodded. "Home it is."

 **The End**


End file.
